Sam and max stories

Fungi Freeze

Ohhhhh, a dark and stormy night. It's nights like this that remind me of the time grandpa stinky and max thought they killed a health inspector. Hahahahahah!

It was a bright and sunny morning.

Outside the diner, a car pulled up with a health inspector stepping out of it.

Grandpa stinky was taking a bath in 1 dollar bills instead of water. He sniffed the air. "That smells like..." he gasps. "The health inspector!"

He rushes into the kitchen with a towel around his waist. "Wash your hands! Clean the floors! Change your underwear! The health inspector's here!"

Him and Max look through the kitchen window. "If she finds one health violation, she'll close us down for good! We've got to do everything in our power to make sure she passes, Stinky's diner." max smiles. "But grandpa, there's no reason to worry!" he clasps his hands together and his eyes sparkle. "Stinky's diner is the most perfect place in the universe."

Grandpa looks at him. "You really haven't got any brains at all, have ye son?"

He pushes max out into the dining area. "Just go out there, and give her what she needs! Pour on the charm! Sweet-talk her!"

Max walks over. "What can you get for you... gorgeous?"

Grandpa stinky facepalms. "We're doomed!"

"I'm gonna need you to bring me one of everything on the menu." the inspector says. Max walks backwards. "Excellent choice, my dear. Coming right up!"

Max walks back in the kitchen. "She wants one of everything!" Grandpa smiles. "Then we'll give her a smorgasbord! The future of Stinky's diner is at stake!"

Enter an eating montage, where they keep bringing and feeding her different foods.

"Try the crunchy lettuce dog, miss!" "The Buttered garlic knots are a touch of heaven!" "The powdered donuts are exquisite, miss!" "fresh lingonberry pudding!" "Diet sugar fizz!" "stir-fried-"

"GENTLEMEN, PLEASE!" she says, pushing them away. "Leave me to finish my work in peace!" she pulls out what appears to be a pen, but when she clicks it, it's actually a fork.

*screen wipe*

The inspector had finished eating and was wiping her mouth with a napkin. Max walks up. "And did the voluptuous inspector enjoy her meal?" she sits up, writing something on the clipboard. "So far so good. I just need to try a plain fudgie freeze, and my inspection will be finished."

Max walks back in the kitchen. "She says if she gets one more fudgie freeze, she'll pass us for the inspection!" Grandpa smiles and picks him up. "Do you know what this means, dear boy? We're in the clear!"

They dance around happily until the kitchen tv interrupts them.

"We interrupt this happy happy joy joy dance for a special news bulletin!" the reporter says. Max and grandpa watch. "Be on the lookout for a woman who's been passing herself off as a health inspector in order to obtain free food! That's all for now." she finishes.

Grandpa gets angry. "FREE FOOD!?"

Max points out the window. "Maybe we oughta tell our gal about the phony impostor." Grandpa walks over. "You looney loofah, she IS the impostor! He points to max. "We've been duped!" Max pulls his ears. "Duped!" grandpa's hands shake. "We've been bamboozled!" max points in the air. "We've been smeckledorfed!" Grandpa nods. "That's not even a word and I agree with ya!"

They look out the kitchen window. "Look at her! I bet she never changes her underwear!" grandpa says. "I Bet she bites rocks!" max adds. "I bet her mom bought her that hat!"