Sam and max stories

That's no lady

(art by me) 

Sam was enjoying a morning walk, minding his own business and taking in the sights of the city.

"HEY!"

Sam stops, looking around for who yelled that.

"Hey you there!" a salesman points to him. Sam points to himself. "Who, me?" "Yes you!"

"GET OUTTA TOWN!" he yells at full volume into Sam's face

Sam yells and runs away as fast as he can.

The salesman scratches his head and shrugs. Another person walks by. "Get Outta town!" He smiles and hands them a flier. "And take a vacation to beautiful sunny shore resort!" He hands another flier to a different person. "Here you go sir!" the person looks down at the vacation flier.

*bubble wipe*

Sam runs panicked, back to Max and his apartment.

Max was holding two glasses of lemonade while he walked to the door. Sam bursts in. "I gotta get out of town!" Max hands him one. "Oh, thanks." he takes it and drinks it. "Sure Sam, i-"
"AHHHH!" Sam continued his panicking.

He looks out the window blinds. "I gotta get goin!" He looks at max. "HE told me to..." Max tilts his head. "Who did?" "uh.. Well...''Sam scratches his head. "Uh... hmm..." he looks confused. "I'm not sure. But he had a briefcase." Max starts panicking too. "OHH A BRIEFCASE!" he rushes to Sam's side. "He might be a paid assassin!"

Max falls on the floor while they both start cry-panicking. Max stands up and grabs Sam by the jacket. "But Sam, you can't go! Not like this!" he cries. "Who will go with me to the next weapons enthusiasts convention?!" he points to a picture on the wall where they're posing in front of some nuclear bombs. "It'll have to be one of your other pals..." because my mind is set." Sam says.

They both start crying again, hugging each other tightly. "Unset it please unset it!" Max cries. Sam hesitantly pushes him away, still crying.

He walks over to their closet and pulls out a suitcase. "I-i guess. I-i'll pack up my stuff and get, ready to go..." he pulls clothes that are way too small for him out of the closet. "My clothes..." he puts them in. "uh, Sam, those are MY clothes.." max says. Sam goes over to the pantry and pulls out a few jars of peanut butter. "My.. peanut butter..." he puts them in the suitcase. "That's MY peanut butter..." Max says. Sam runs over to the fridge and gets the jar of pickles. "AND MY PICKLES!" he says, putting it in the suitcase, closing it and crying on it.

"I can't believe you're leaving Sam!" Max cries. "WITH ALL MY PICKLES!" he says, leaning against the doorframe and sobbing.

Sam starts to walk out. "It's the end of me..... Being here."

"WAIT!" Max reaches out, going and blocking the door. "What about all our plans..?" He pulls out a list. "8:00 am, wake up Sam, 9:00 am eat rice krinkles with Sam, 10:00 am brush teeth with Sam, 1:00 pm STARE at Sam!" He looks up at him. "Who's gonna do all that with me?!" Sam Gently takes the list away. "I'm sorry, there's no stopping the unstoppable... Samuel Parker will live no more... FOREVER.... On straight street."

Max thinks, then gets an idea, smiling. "But what if you WEREN'T Samuel parker?"

Sam panics. "Oh no, I'M NOT SAMUEL PARKER!?!" he says as he pats his chest and face. "You are Samuel parker! But you won't be for long!" Max says. "huh?" Sam says, confused.

*screen wipe*

Max puts a pair of futuristic looking sunglasses on sam. "There you go Sam! Nobody will know it's you!" He shows him a mirror.

Sam gets freaked out when he sees his reflection, yelling and running out into the hallway, tripping and falling. Max gasps, going to help him up. "Sam, you okay?"