Post Vitam

Chapter 08

Izuku didn't know what to make of the odd moniker Lucas tried to insult him with. How in the world was he like Yoda? He's been considered short most of his life yes, but it's nothing extreme. Is it because of his hair being green? Because his quirk means he'll eventually be very old? Bemused trying to figure this all out he apologized to Lucas best he could. Trying his best to hide the confusion and the small smile this odd nickname gave him. 

"I'm sorry?"

"You better be Yoda, Inei is mine understand?!"

Before Izuku could respond Inei spoke up. He was getting annoyed at Lucas's possessive behavior. Being overprotective was part of his charm to Inei but this was seemingly a bit over the top for him. From the short time he's been interacting with Izuku he's decided to become his friend no matter what anyone says.

"Enough Lucas, he's just a friend I hope to make. Being a bit overprotective was cute but if you're going to be this over the top about it... I'm going to have to rethink everything about us. Besides how can I be yours if we're still just doing the same stuff we've always done?! Are we even dating? Have you taken me out on a date that I don't know about?"

Lucas looked at Inei with shock. "i-I I thought you didn't want to go out and actually date?"

"At first yes, I just wanted it to be clear that we like each other and have no plans to date anyone else. But come on Lucas, who confesses to someone to just carry on being normal friends. I don't mind doing that but then don't go around claiming that I'm yours. I'm not a thing to own." Izuku could see hurt behind that last statement. Almost like Inei wasn't only talking to Lucas saying that. Confirmed by Lucas who wiped a tear away from Inei's cheek before apologizing to his friend/boyfriend?!

"I'm sorry foxie, I wasn't thinking. Like always. I'm not your uncle... I never should've said that. Forgive me."

Inei was wiping his own tears away too when suddenly and out of nowhere he gave Lucas a hit over the head. "Are you out to loose your head today?! I told you to NEVER call me that out in public!!" He said turning a shade of red brighter than a ripe tomato. 

There was a lull in the bickering/fighting Izuku wasn't sure what was actually happening between the duo but, he took it as a chance to lighten the air so he could make his exit. 

Izuku made his best effort to imitate the voice of Yoda and said "Fight you two must not, picnic on date you shall go... Hmmm"

Both boys turned to look at him at the same time shocked and then started to laugh hysterically.

"Dude that was h-horrible..." Lucas said through a fit of laughter.

Izuku felt embarrassed but was glad the two in front of him were no longer bickering. He waited for them to calm down. Inei actually holding the wall for support. When they finally stopped Lucas turned to Izuku. 

"Dude please do that again sometime, it was so horrible it was actually good. I'm sorry I got the wrong idea about you and my foxie" he said as he was ducking a flying magazine for using Inei's pet name again.

"It's ok Lucas, I'm used to people assuming the worst" Giving him a somber smile.

"I better get going now though guys. Have to meet someone and go home sometime today..."

Lucas and Inei gave each other a look. They knew not to push their new friend to share what's troubling him.

"Ok Izu, was really nice meeting you. Looking forward to hearing from you. Be safe getting home"

"Will do guys, stop fighting. You guys are cute together" Izuku teasing them and waving goodbye he noticed the blush on their faces. He giggled to himself making his way out of the hospital. He decided to walk home or at least to a bus station if he got tired. 

It wasn't hard to admit it. He was a bit fascinated by the strange duo he had met today. Inei had said they still act like friends but it seemed like they were already a couple. Another thing that he can't get over his how they already have so much of themselves figured out. He guessed that not being bogged down with the full focused weight of society hating you gives you room to breathe somewhat.

Then his mind wandered towards his only friend. Kacchan. Did he like him like Lucas and Inei do each other? Was that even possible? Sure he cares about Kacchan and has always loved him but is he in love with him? The speed of the questions in his mind increased.

Does he just admire him? Is he mistaking admiration for love? Does Kacchan even feel remotely the same? How would he react if he heard all of this? Would he loose him? He can't loose Kacchan. Even if he's just around to bully him. Would Kacchan actually bully him on his own if he told him how he thinks he feels. Is it worth it to tell him?

Izuku had a crazed look on his face from all his internal mumbling. Thinking himself towards the second anxiety attack of the day. He felt his breathing getting faster like he'd been running. Heard his heart beat. Felt his heart beating faster in his throat. Sweat rolling down his face.

"right so super cells doesn't mean my head is fixed, got it. Still fucked up" he said aloud to himself starting to feel dizzy from his uneven breathing. He tried to take in his surroundings figuring out where his feet had carried him while he wasn't paying attention. He was at a plaza and saw public toilets. Perfect he thought.

Izuku didn't have the clear mind to notice everyone he walked past looked at him with wondering eyes. Most just writing off to him being sick with that pale complexion of his. He made it to the restrooms. He ignored the hobo, made his way to  a stall and started to rummage through his backpack.

Where are they?!

Useless

Shut up I'm looking okay!!!

can't even do this right...

fuck you!

having quirk now changes nothing

I know!

Having found what he was looking for he exclaimed loudly FOUND IT!!!

He pulled out the blade he hid deep in his bag. His hand shaking still unable to calm himself.

Do it already

"just shut up please" crying loudly now he pushed the blade to his skin and made a jagged cut not able to stop shaking. He felt the sharp release as the blade glided across his skin. A sick parody of ice skating with his skin starring as the ice. Izuku started to settle down with the familiar feeling of blood escaping. Giving release to the tension he felt. Something felt different this time however. He was used to bleeding and letting it run down his arm or his leg. It was missing now. His cut had already started to close soon after it had been made. 

He made a cut again. It healed even faster this time, blood barely having time to show itself.

"NO!"

He cut again. It healed faster still, blood not even having a chance to form.

He kept cutting again and again. Each time the cut healing faster. Soon the cut healed as he made it..

"this isn't going to work anymore now?!"

you get to spend more time with us

"no, you need to leave me alone!!"

We'll never leave you . . .  DEKU

"Stop it" he sobbed

"It was supposed to be better now. I have a quirk now. Why cant you just leave me?!"

Leave you? Without us you'll be lonely won't you? You're going to live a long time..

The rhythm and pain of cutting had calmed Izuku down but he missed the blood. The voices were gone for now. He had to get home and face his mother. Izuku unlocked his stall opened the door and saw the hobo he passed by earlier staring at him with a tired look.

"What were you doing in there kid?" the hobo asked sighing heavily