Post Vitam

Chapter 37

There was no discomfort, no pain or that gnawing hunger begging to be filled but no food could satiate. The debilitating feeling of nothing. There wasn't comfort or bliss either. No sudden feeling of being complete. Just existence, a limited sense of awareness. Izuku remembered a similar feeling from when he was in a coma years ago. However back then there was more external input. He could perceive his surroundings via sound alone, he was cognizant of his body. This time he felt nothing, or rather he was aware of the lack of anything to process. 

Was he dead? Did it work then? Is this the afterlife? Vague existence? That's it? That cant be right? Wherever he was he had hoped to never leave this place. As Izuku was pondering the questions of the universe and where or what he is a voice broke the stillness. Complete silence was suddenly replaced by someone screaming into a loudspeaker, at least that was how abrupt the change was. Izuku instinctually covering his ears, which he noticed weren't there until he went to cover them. In fact none of his body existed till he noticed it didn't exist.

"Ah, looks like we got close this time Izu..."

Izuku turned around to face the voice who's volume was actually normal and he felt silly for even covering his ears, even if he swears it was beyond bearable just a second ago. He decided to put that out of his mind and focused on where the voice was coming from as it got closer by the second.

"I really am sorry I couldn't protect us more. I went through so much shit at the centre and then the group home. To break because of a offhanded comment by Kacchan... I really am pathetic"

Izuku felt like he was looking at a clone from some creepy lab old world science fiction movies were fond of. But in front of him was himself only distinct features that gave away the copy were the glowing green neon eyes. He found himself replying.

"Don't. I wouldn't have been able to handle what you did. We would've been in a bed staring at the ceiling till the end of days."

There came another voice but it was even more familiar, he's known this one since the day he found out he's quirkless. Always taunting him, pushing towards the edge. Again Izuku was faced with himself but this version had what seemed a permanent scowl and his eyes were almost an even more dull green than his almost brown.

"Well obviously we would be in a bed till the apocalypse with you in charge. You cant do shit right. You're pathetic. Kacchan got it right. You really do make us a DEKU. Tch. Cant even kill us correctly"

Izuku's mouth had barely opened to reply when yet another voice spoke up. The owner shocking him but seemingly annoying the taunting version of him. Before him was a version of himself when he was four. Impossibly short and extremely cute with a bushel of bright green curls and shiny green eyes filled with hope. What he said didn't match his appearance however instead of something cutesy came harsh reprimanding words.

"You stop doing that. The world hates us enough, stop adding to it! You should be glad he didn't manage to do it. We can still do something about the world now!"

All these voices and the fact that they are appearing before him confused Izuku. Pointing to the version of himself with the neon eyes he started "So I kind of get that me and Zuku are like the same person kind of but what are you guys then?" gesturing towards the other two versions of himself.

"We are all you Izu. It's kind of like D.I.D I guess though also not at all. People with dissociative identity disorder have alters that are almost always separate individuals from them."

"And you guys aren't?!"

"Not really no. It sounds mean but it makes it easier to explain. Think of it like a glass. People with D.I.D their glass is broken into different pieces. Ours is just cracked. We're just different parts of you. I'm supposed to be the stronger composed version of us."

The one with the constant scowl spoke up next

"Tch. I hate us. Obviously stupid fat DEKU. God that geezer really let us eat ALL of that food he makes. Go shove a finger in our throat for once. If you can fit through the door that is."

Izuku felt his stomach turn and sweat drip down his neck. Quite a feat in a place where none of that physically exists.

"Ah so that's you... You've been around the longest. Every damn day you pestered me."

He rolled his eyes without loosing his scowl. "Are you fucking dense!? What am I asking of course you are... I didn't do shit!!! You did! I AM YOU!! Fucking dumbass." 

Izuku didn't reply as he was too shocked at what he just heard. He was torturing himself this whole time? Sure everyone does that from time to time but to actually know some of the stuff he went through is because a version of himself wanted it. The silence was broken by the smaller version of himself. He looked extremely sad and anyone who saw it would've sworn to kill whoever made this adorable green bean look like that.

"He hasn't been around the longest. I have though you barely heard me after a while and just stopped hearing after that. I'm what remains of what we dreamed could be, the small part that dares to hope."

Izuku felt somewhat guilty for ignoring his dreams and shoving away any form of hope that he had. He'd always told himself it's to survive. Then it finally dawned on him he isn't dead. He failed. He looked between the versions of himself deciding to ask the obvious.

"So wait why are you all here? I failed again, we aren't dead and knowing our quirk there's no chance jumping again would do anything. Do we just keep going on till we die of old age? If we even can?" 

With a deadly glare the one with the scowl spoke up "Don't be fucking stupid. Much as I hate us I'd rather hate us and be awesome."

"What are you on about?!"

"I think he means we "fix" the cracks"

"Bingo bright eyes"

"I'm still lost over here..."

"He's saying instead of only one part of us we become a whole person again."

"We can do that?! What would happen, how come we haven't done that before then?!"

"Because numb nuts, we didn't have a quirk plus we've never had our brains slushed about after a fall. Gives us a chance to fix some shit."

"So if we do this we wont feel like dying?"

The smallest version looked up at him with sadness mixed with hope in his eyes. "No that's not what this is about. It's about giving us a chance to survive the world without needing to jump off a building to feel something. If we're whole maybe we might even start to heal and move on with our life. This isn't going to fix or take away anything that happened but maybe we can start to face the world. Work towards changing it for the better. Like we dreamed about"

"Oh, well I guess that's slightly better than where we are now so why not." They all moved towards each other and the void they were in was flooded with white light as they grabbed each the other's hands.