Post Vitam

Chapter 34

Izuku felt like he woke up from a long confusing nap, which technically was probably true. He got up looking for a pen to write with. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror of the first aid cabinet. His eyes were returning to the dull green with bits of brown he knew from all those years ago.

Izuku set about looking for paper and found one of the spider lilies from today in his backpack remarkably undamaged. He went back to the mirror and placed it securely in his hair with a hairpin he had for gym class. They had become his favourite flower. He knew the note he got a year ago wasn't from Kacchan but he held onto some form of hope. To him the flower was a symbol of that. Even if for everyone else it meant death and a means to torment him.

He found a kind of kinship with the flower people avoided him too for something he didn't have control over. It wasn't his fault he got his quirk late. Sure he could stop the discrimination and looks he gets by letting the world know he has quirks now... Some part of him though liked seeing who the actually decent people are and who pretends to be decent when you can provide something for them.

Izuku returned to his backpack finding only one of the many notebooks Kacchan has burned throughout the years. "This one will work actually." Izuku said to nobody in particular. Along with his usual mumbling habit he seems to have added speaking to the air.

He sat down at one of the desk and noticed the sunlight getting it's famous shade of orange. It was getting late. He found a pen and started to write another suicide note. He has at least one full notebook back home filled with them. He didn't even know what to write anymore, he's tried every variation. Ones filled with emotion and sorrow. Ones where the events of his life filled pages upon pages and how he could end up trying to kill himself. He just started writing whatever came to mind not really caring if it was sloppy or unemotional. Nobody was going to care anyway.

To the person who finds this.

Sorry I spoiled your day. I'm sure finding a suicide note can't be fun. Though it is from a kid the world still treats as quirkless. That bit is my fault. Never told anyone I'm actually a late bloomer.

Now don't go thinking I'm just another quirkless kid who's had enough. The police love to write us off. Sure the state of the world is quite depressing for the quirkless. We are treated like scum and blamed for everything. No this isn't the reason for this.

I'm not a good person. I've killed before. I am responsible for the death of both my parents and a nurse who did nothing wrong in her entire life...I also killed a boy called Lucas Connelly. Though to be fair he started it by blowing up the group home and all my friends.

So why wait till now to go through with it? Well that quirk I got is a healing one so every attempt so far has been for nothing. Hell maybe you're reading this to me while I'm healing. Quick warning. DO NOT TOUCH MY BODY. I'll be jumping with an extra note around my neck or pinned to my body to warn others but still. It's how I killed the nurse. Drained her of all life. If only I could do the reverse...

Mr.Takada I'm sorry for leaving you, you really were the only bit of my life that I didn't hate. Aside from you nobody cares for me and I can't stand living like a spectator in my own life. There's a whole notebook with variations of these notes with actual emotion in them. This one? After today I'm too numb.

I do want to say to Kacchan though that yes I do have a crush on you. Since we were 4 i've always loved you. Sorry I'm such a fag. Hope Hannah knows what she has.