A Piece of You

𝘊𝘏𝘈𝘗𝘛𝘌𝘙 𝘛𝘏𝘐𝘙𝘛𝘠-𝘌𝘐𝘎𝘏𝘛

𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑅𝐷 𝑃𝐸𝑅𝑆𝑂𝑁 𝑃𝑂𝑉

        Megumi and Kiro eat lunch with Satoru before saying their goodbyes, making their way home because Choso is supposed to move in today. Not to mention that Yuuta sent an unexpected text that he was going to stop by. Gojo has some more physical therapy before he'll be allowed to go home. 

     Megumi misses Sukuna's touch, having Sukuna leave that morning felt unbearable. He almost gave in to the moment and requested that Sukuna stay but he knows how that would've turned out. His rule would've been broken, Sukuna would've taken him all over his bedroom and when the clarity returned, Megumi would feel so ashamed of himself.

      He's caught between his feelings towards Yuuta and Sukuna. Sukuna is thrilling and always causes Megumi to feel multiple emotions at once. The sex has him floaty for days and wanting to take whatever Sukuna is giving, even if it's cruel and even if he completely disregards Megumi's feelings. Then, there is the reliable and considerate Yuuta who never argues and never disregards Megumi's feelings. He's the complete opposite of Sukuna, they're both so different. Megumi has nothing to say about the sex because he's never slept with Yuuta, only shared kisses and tentative touches. 

     This entire time, Megumi has been thinking about Kiro but he feels... maybe... he should be thinking about himself first. How does he feel? Who does he want to be with? The answer is Sukuna, of course. If the answer is without a doubt and immutable, then why does Yuuta's gentle dark blue eyes filled with absolute adoration always come to mind?

       Megumi hadn't considered it deeply before but Sukuna always causes his body to burn with passion and fill his mind with desperation. There are sweet moments but those are rare, it's as though he's clinging to those as a defense. Why does he allow Sukuna to treat him callously? Sukuna will purposely say and do things that he knows will upset Megumi, that will cause him to cry and plead for him to stop. He has forced his urges onto Megumi and Megumi has always come back, always accepting the apology. Megumi doesn't understand it, he doesn't understand why he loves Sukuna so fiercely. Nanami hadn't had an answer when he first asked and if Megumi were to ask the blonde man again, he still wouldn't have an answer and if he did, he wouldn't tell Megumi what it was. This isn't love but it is love for Megumi, his love with Sukuna is not normal or sweet. He defends them, he defends Sukuna, and sometimes it feels like he is the only one who has to accept and obey. 

      Yuuta is perfection. Toji had said so and Megumi knows it's true. Yuuta would never do anything to intentionally harm Megumi in any sort of way. He's wonderful and as present as Megumi allows in Kiro's life. He adores Kiro despite who Kiro's father is, despite their hatred for one another. 

    Megumi wants to be treated with care, he feels special when Yuuta treats him this way. Yuuta only sees Megumi and no one else, he puts forth so much effort and is always patient. He listens to what Megumi says and doesn't force if Megumi rejects something. He doesn't get upset or angry, he understands and respects Megumi's wishes. He never judges, even when Megumi is a complete mess. He comforts and only replies with sincerity spoken from his heart. 

     Once again, Megumi wants to defend Sukuna. He feels that perhaps he hasn't been vulnerable enough around Sukuna for him to have those moments where he's there and reliable the way Yuuta has been. But... is that true? Sukuna knew of Megumi's insecurities, his unfavorable upbringing, and of course, Megumi has given the most valuable thing he had. His virginity, he allowed Sukuna to gaze, touch, and corrupt with sin the body that he personally felt was lacking. Sukuna used Megumi's insecurities against him, he maltreated Megumi's body, and he didn't even attempt to empathize with Megumi. Fushiguro had no experience with the world, with people, with sexual things. He wanted to believe in the good of people, he didn't want to stop spending time with any one of his friends. Why was he having to change? Why did Sukuna want him to adjust so much? 

       Their love hurts, his heart can't take it but Megumi feels he can't handle pushing Sukuna away. He still wants to pull Sukuna closer, to give all he has to offer once again. Toji had said that Megumi needs to love again, once he truly gives his heart to another, it'll help him cope and begin to move on. Megumi hasn't decided if that's what he wants, all these questions with no one to give him the answers. He wishes he could figure himself out and be certain about everything, he wonders if other people can easily provide answers when it comes to their emotions.

~𝕾𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖊 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊~

      "Sukuna has been talking to you for years and he hasn't changed. In fact, he's gotten worse. He's always been a terrible person but he treated Megumi much better during the start of their relationship." Uraume has lost faith in Higuruma, he thought the man could help Sukuna but he hasn't seen any positive changes. "The only thing you've done is get him to let Megumi go, after he already kidnapped him and their child."

      "I'm making progress. Sukuna has a conduct disorder, he has established all the signs. Then there is the problem of his obsessive love disorder towards Fushiguro, he has an obsessive desire to protect and possess him. He has an inability to accept rejection from Fushiguro in any form, which furthers their unhealthy relationship. What do you think I am, Uraume? Did you expect me to fix him? Cure his disorders and childhood trauma? I can't treat someone who doesn't want it, I know my place and forcing a murderer to do something he doesn't want to is not how I will end up murdered myself. I'd say he also has ASPD."

      "I thought conduct disorder is only in younger people?"

      "It can be diagnosed in adults." Higuruma replies. "I understand you're concerned about the well-being of your friend but I am not your enemy, Uraume. I do my job as he demands, he wants someone to talk to and I provide that. I can offer advice but even then there is no guarantee he will want to listen." 

      "He doesn't need fixing, he just needs someone to help him! I got help with my drinking problem, now you need to help him with his severe aggression." Uraume is so worried about Sukuna's mental and emotional health as well as being highly concerned about Megumi's safety. Uraume doesn't want Sukuna to do something he'll regret towards Megumi. "Please, Higuruma, I need you to try to convince Sukuna to get some type of treatment. Anything."

      Higuruma sighs from exhaustion, every day he regrets his decision to enter this line of work. "I'll attempt to persuade him, Uraume, but I make no promises."