A Piece of You

𝘊𝘏𝘈𝘗𝘛𝘌𝘙 𝘍𝘖𝘙𝘛𝘠

𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑅𝐷 𝑃𝐸𝑅𝑆𝑂𝑁 𝑃𝑂𝑉

       Yuuta pushes Megumi against the wall, kissing him passionately. His hands move impatiently, sliding under Megumi's shirt. He presses his knee between Megumi's legs, rubbing his knee against Megumi's cunt. Megumi whines weakly into Yuuta's kiss, his hands gripping onto Yuuta's shirt. Megumi's skin is smooth, he wants to explore every part of him. He wants to worship all of Megumi, he's wanted this since he realized his feelings. Megumi's already breathless, Yuuta is so close to going all the way.

      But he can't. At least, not like this.

      "I love you."

       "Me too—"

        "I can't have sex with you." Yuuta interrupts. Megumi feels extremely hurt, he didn't expect to be rejected. His eyes begin to water as his emotions begin to bubble to the surface.

    "I'm sorry, is it me? What do you want me to do—?"

        "No, stop." Yuuta slides his hands out from Megumi's shirt, cupping his face. "You have a rule, remember? No sex in the house. I want you, I want you so bad its killing me inside but having sex with you here would be disrespecting you and Kiro. I don't want to do that."

      Megumi is confused, he can't help but compare Sukuna and Yuuta. Sukuna would've jumped him without thinking twice but Okkotsu couldn't bare the thought of not respecting Megumi's wishes even if he gave permission. It's all so confusing, his emotions are all over the place. He grips tighter onto Yuuta, "Please don't go."

      "Okay, I won't go." Yuuta agrees. He didn't expect Megumi to be so distraught over this, he feels angry with himself for doing this to Megumi. He shouldn't have said what he did, even if it's how he felt. "Why are you crying? I'm not going anywhere." Yuuta frowns, wiping away Megumi's tears.

      "Are... you sure?"

       "About what?"

       "I can do what you want, I promise." Megumi says again, feeling as though he needs to. This isn't him choosing Yuuta over Sukuna nor is his heart choosing Sukuna over Yuuta. He's scared of losing either of them, almost like he'll fall completely apart if they abandon him. He knows he always ends up making mistakes, he doesn't realize until after he's done it and he's being screamed at. If he lets Yuuta leave, it'll be a mistake.

     Yuuta will go and not be happy with me, I can't disappoint him further.

     "What do you want, Megumi?" Yuuta's affectionate and empathetic expression only makes it much more difficult to understand what he wants. He wants whatever Yuuta thinks he should want, that seems like the only right answer but he has a feeling Okkotsu won't want that response. Isn't that what Sukuna had said when he really caused Megumi pain both inside and out?

     You're a slut, you're pathetic, you're stupid, stop thinking, all you do is cause problems, let me think for you, shut up and accept.

     If I surrender myself, will that make Yuuta happy? If it did, wouldn't Yuuta be having sex with me right now? Why isn't he? Doesn't he love me? He's sweet to me, he says he loves me, doesn't he want to touch me? What am I doing wrong? Am I not appealing enough? Does he want me to do something? What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to want? Everything is too much, I'm trying to prove that I love him, why isn't he accepting it?

     "I love you."

     "I know, it feels amazing to hear that." Yuuta takes Megumi's trembling hand, placing it onto his chest where his heart is beating rapidly. "Feel that? My heart is always racing when I'm near you, when I hear your name, and even when I randomly think of you."

      Rogue tears fall down Megumi's face even as he tries to stop. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm crying. It's pathetic." Megumi apologizes, ashamed of how weak he is.

      "It's not pathetic, you're feeling things and that's not a bad thing. Please don't apologize to me, you have nothing to be sorry for. You've done nothing wrong." Yuuta reassures, hoping that he's been heard. Megumi clings tighter onto Yuuta, resting the side of his face against Yuuta's chest. Okkotsu's heart is racing, the sound is so comforting to Megumi right now. Yuuta wraps his arms around Megumi's trembling body, not wanting to think about how much he would've hated himself if he slept with Megumi. He considered it, he pounced without thinking for a minute, and seeing the traumatized state Megumi is in, he's so thankful he stopped himself.

      I never would forgive myself if I took advantage of Megumi while he's like this.

      "I don't want you to go. It's selfish but I want you to stay."

       "You can be as selfish and spoiled as you want with me, I love you and I want you to have everything your heart wants." Yuuta presses a kiss on top of Megumi's head, his hold tightening. He wants to soothe Megumi's agony, he knows there isn't a way to erase it but he wants to do everything he can. "We can watch movies, alright? Does that sound good? Or do you want to do something else?"

     "Okay." Megumi nods, lacing his fingers with Yuuta's. "Come with me please."

     Megumi brings Yuuta to his bedroom. He gives Yuuta a shirt to change into while Megumi throws on a T-shirt and some shorts. Yuuta takes his jeans off, folding and putting them aside. Megumi is still scattered, he can't stop trembling and there are too many thoughts going through his head. "You bought all the Twilight movies? They must be good."

      "You haven't seen it?" Megumi crawls into bed, snuggling closer. He throws a leg over Yuuta, his arm wrapping around Yuuta's body. It's his subtle way of trapping Yuuta, keeping him close and if he moves, Megumi will feel it. Megumi forces a smile, "We have to watch it."

      "Are you alright?" Yuuta gently rubs the back of Megumi's thigh, pressing the watch button with his free hand. Megumi shakes his head, nuzzling closer.

      "I love you." Megumi murmurs, trying not to think about all the negative things trying to bring him down. Yuuta watches the movie, his hand continuing to rub Megumi. The feeling is light and warm, Megumi can only focus on the sensation. He doesn't want to become overwhelmed about all the negative thoughts trying to torment him. He is fragile and he feels humiliated by it.