Dear Diary,
It is m y Sixth bIrt HdaY! I e at a HUgE C ake. I wis hed Fo r a red d r eSS. Mo m will b uy me s0ON!
Ç HL 0 é
Dear Diary,
I just turned 8 yearsold. I lik e red color still. I t hink I wan t a red scar f. S chool is go0d.
Dear Diary,
I'm turning 11 soon. Mom has set up a surprise but I accidentally spoiled myself. Guess I'll just pretend I didn't see anything. Honestly I'll never understand why my friends are hating on their parents so much- I think they're my world. I'll always love them.
P.S. Red is still my favorite color, especially when I discovered about periods. It's cool.
Dear Diary,
It's midnight and I can't sleep. Well, mom and dad are noisy in the other room. I've heard mom screaming all night and I'm scared. I wonder if dad is hurting her. I loved my dad so much. But now I can't sleep. I decided to hate him for a second now. Edward is probably sleeping soundly. I feel horrible right now. Nightmares are not helping either. I always have dreams of me either murdering people or getting murdered. I don't dare to tell them. I think my friend will hate me. I'm weak.
Dear Diary,
Omw to 12. Hating life. Hating school. Hating toxic relationships. Hating mom and dad for fucking each other so much. I've already got a troublemaker Edward right here and I want nothing more. Shit. I hate my parents. I still remember when I said I'll love them forever. I guess that's a lie. Just like how they told me that I could buy whatever the hell I want with my own money but scolded me once I took a lipstick. What's wrong with that? All my friends put on makeup already anyway. When will they realize I'm no longer that Little Miss Kind to everyone? I hate being weak.
And I'm NOT crushing anyone. Hell. Can somebody tell Aunt Emz to shut up? She's cool, but WAY TOO DRAMATIC. And half of her rumors and gossips are fake.
Maybe someday I'll be able to get whatever the hell I want. 12. There's just so much I can't do.
Dear Diary,
I feel like dying.
Dear Diary,
I turned 14. I have a plan to leave this hell for at least a day. They don't know I've secretly packed everything. I mean, ha, how will they? They never care anyway. And fuck all my ex-friends. How can they regret their choice at the very last minute? It's from a group of 8 people, and now reducing to only 3. Cowards. Family babies. I'm not one of them. I dream of getting out.
Too many days I want to cut my heart open, times I feel the weird pleasure of cutting my skin and seeing blood draw out. There are still reasons I like red. Edward is going to be 10. I wish he'll move out soon. I don't think we can ever get along. People say "Get a dream" "Find purpose in life" "Dream big, take risk, live well" "Your life is better than existing"
Well, fuck that. My dream is to get the hell outta here and start a new life all by my own. I admit I'm jealous of those country people who do nothing but work on a field all day. Sounds peaceful to me. And song and dance. Not pop ones ofc. I'm not that kind of girl. Still, we're all gonna die someday and I wonder what's all the pain for while we still live - we wont be able to bring anything away when we die.
I honestly wanna end this soon. How do I get this genetic when both my parents are good and simple-minded people? Idk. I sometimes hate myself. But again I hate everyone so that doesn't make it a big deal.
I hear mother coming.
Dear Diary,
I ran away tonight. Birthday cake was horrible. Sweet, sugary. Disturbingly happy. I hate the smiles. I hate they think a facade of my smile is all I got. I don't think anyone will ever dive deep to get to know me. And one more thing, the trio has reduced to a dual one minute ago. Only me and Percy.
Shit.
Anyway, it's 3am. Percy is now sleeping next to me. I feel something weird in my stomach and I do hope it's not about periods. I don't get any pads. Plus I don't wanna disgust him. He'll probably hate me. 5 missing calls from mother and 1 text from dad. I ignored it. It feels great to leave home. We're at a beach. Small tent we sleep in, with a few candles and a lamp. I love it. It's kind of cold here, that can be an excuse for me to snuggle up- no. I'm cool my own. I'll sleep in another tent I guess. I'll enjoy this short absence from the dead house.
Goodnight world, excluding my family, extra for him.
Signing off, Chloe
YOU ARE READING
Don't Get Away From Me
FanfictionHaving a traumatic and abusive childhood, Edgar never really enjoyed living. He just lives for...living. Until he met the crazy white haired girl. ⚠️ Includes violence, blood and self harm. Curses are included too. But probably not sexual. The story...
