Stellaride - A CinderStella Story

No getting over her (21)

Kellys POV

it's the first shift back since me and Stella broke up, it's been 2 days since I last saw her, which was when she left me. I have really missed her but Im scared to see her again, I know my heart will break each time I see her and I wont be able to hug her or kiss her.

I spent most of the day trying to avoid seeing her, sending squad out on drills, fuelling up, and hiding away in my office with the blinds down. it was going well until we got a call for all units to an RTC. 

It was a bus collision with a victim trapped underneath. I crawled underneath to assess the victim and work out a way to pull him out, I needed a medic but they were working on the bus driver so Stella decided to crawl under and help me with her having medic experience. she crawled under and was lay next to the victim opposite me, it was the first time I got a look at her as I didn't see her in briefing as she was standing on the other side, she looked well. 

she helped me manoeuvre the spinal board under the victim so we can safely extract him. she crawled out backwards pulling him out as I pushed and crawled forwards.

once the victim was loaded onto a gurney I turned around and looked at stella

"Hey, thanks for helping me out under there" I said as she smiled slightly 

"anytime, lieutenant" she responded as she walked away and I looked at her as she walked away, that was the first time she called me lieutenant rather than my name. 

I order my men to pack up before we head back to the firehouse.

Truck are back first I go into the turn out room to hang up my bunker gear, I hear a rig pull in and someone come into the turnout room, I look over my shoulder to see Stella, she looks at me then continues to walk past me as she hangs up her gear

"this is tougher than I thought it was gonna be" I confess as I turn to stella, she looks over at me then finishes putting her coat up as she turns to me and steps closer

"we are never gonna be able to work together, if you cant put this behind you kelly" she says seriously as I nod, a bit shocked at how well she seems to be dealing with the break up. she walks past me as I turn and place a hand on the wall in front of me and let out a breath of frustration as I drop my head. how am I supposed to put it behind me when everyday I'm reminded of her in literally anything. 

I walk out of the turn out room as I head to my office, shay shouting me stopping me in my tracks as I look at her 

"fancy coming to Mollys after shift, we need a catch up" she asks as I shrug a little "I dont know, Ill think about it" I say as I turn and continue walking to my office. 

I catch up on some incident reports, as I'm half way through the last one I hear a knock at my door and I look to see its shay and I let her in.

"you free to talk" she asks as I turn in my chair and look at her 

"yeah, whats up" I ask as she walks over to me and grabs my shoulders and shakes me 

"what is wrong with you! why aren't you fighting to get her back, did you tell her what you told me...about not wanting to live without her..." shay asks as I shake my head no 

"she didn't really give me a chance to speak, and even when she did I couldn't find the words" I tell her as shay grabs my face with her hands 

"you are a bonehead sometimes you know that..." she says jokingly as I nod again

"I don't know what to do shay...I love her, like so much, all I think about is Stella, shes the first thought on my mind when I wake up, and the last thing on my mind before I go to sleep. morning, noon and night it's Stella. There is just no way of getting over her" I tell shay as she kisses my cheek then uses her thumb to rub where shes just kissed 

"You's will get through this, I know you's will, you two are endgame, your both meant to be" shay says moving back from me "thats why you need to come to Mollys tonight" she finishes as I look at her

"I said I will think about it" I tell her as she shaeks her head no 

"nope, theres nothing to think about, you are going to be there and thats that, you need to be around firends, it will help, Ill drag you if I have to" shay says before heading to my door "Mollys tonight, 7pm be there kelly, or ill come for you" she says before she leaves. 

...

shift had ended and everyone was making their way out as I turned out of the locker room someone bumped into me

"hey...watch wh..."I begin to say as I look up and notice it was Stella I bumped into "oh hey, sorry I didn't see you" I say instead as I smile at her 

"sorry, I had my head down, I should have been watching where I was going..." she says as she looks at me, we both look at each other for a few seconds not saying anything

"so how have you been" she says breaking the silence "and be honest with me" she adds on as I exhale a little deeply 

"truthfully..." I pause and look down "rough, im finding it hard" I say as stella grabs my hand and I look up at her 

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to hurt you, I just did what I thought was best for you, I hope one day you will understand that" she says as she strokes my hand with her thumb before dropping my hand. "anyway I should be getting off, everyones meeting at Mollys tonight, will I see you there?" I look at her and smile a little 

"yeah, I'll be there, shay said she will be dragging me if I don't go" I say, as Stella laughs a little as she grabs my arm and strokes it a little "well I shall see you later" she says as she leaves. 

I watch her leave before I put my bag over my shoulder and make my way home.