KimChay short stories collection. Too many KimChay ideas to turn them all into a full length AUs so here you have all the drabbles and one shots I have written so far <3
even months after they are back together Kim still keeps having the same nightmare of Chay never forgiving him and leaving Kim suffering for everything he had done. But the truth is that Chay is by Kim's side...always
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"You love me? Pathetic!" Chay said with a cold calm voice, barely looking at Kim, begging down on his knees for his angel's forgiveness.
"You broke me, Kimhan. Crushed me into pieces and now you think that you can just act your way back into my life? Stop this nonsense. Whatever you are playing, I don't care anymore. I never should have!"
Kim was on the verge of passing out. No no no, there was no way Chay, his Chay wouldn't forgive him. Chay wasn't so cruel. He had a heart, a big beautiful heart unlike Kim, whose heart was dark and ugly, stained with everything wrong he had done.
"Angel, please, please, don't do this, please. I'll do anything you want. Please—"
"Anything I want?" Chay asked, finally gazing at Kim properly.
A weak flicker of hope illuminated Kim's world for a moment. He nodded, "yes, yes...I'll do anything. Just tell me and I'll do it."
"Fine, then disappear from my life forever. I never want to see you again. Looking at your face makes me remember only the worst. I hate this pain, Kimhan. I hate it!"
☆☆☆☆☆
In the darkness of their bedroom, Chay lay on Kim's chest, eyes closed; deep in his sleep he was very much in need of after a tiring week of final exams. He fell asleep in Kim's comforting arms, listening to Kim's deep soothing voice, singing him a lullaby. Everything was perfect until Kim's nightmare.
At first, it was only slight, almost unnoticeable movement of Kim's muscles but then it escalated. The movement got way more prominent, his body started shaking with quiet sobs, hands around Chay were gripping him tightly, and the cries, escaping Kim's lips were so painful to Chay's heart as he watched Kim breaking in his arms again.
"A-angel please...please...no... don't do th-this...don't ... don't kill...don't kill me like that."
A single tear rolled down Chay's cheek as he leaned to Kim's face, kissing his cheek before softly whispering, "I'm here. Wake up, please. It's okay my love, it's okay I'm here." Chay knew he didn't have to talk louder Kim always reacted to his voice, even if he was asleep. Chay kissed Kim's cheek again, waiting for Kim's eyes to open and when they did, Chay's eyes met the eyes of the man he loved more than he could have ever imagined was possible, the eyes of a man who for the first few seconds every time it happened, couldn't believe that his nightmare was just that — a nightmare. It wasn't real because what was real was Chay looking down at him with his beautiful doe eyes covered in love and compassion he had for the broken man in his arms.
"Chay," Kim said slowly, afraid that this beautiful dream of his would disappear, pushing him back into his nightmarish reality.
"It's okay, love. It was just a nightmare. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere ever. I'll be here with you, always."
"Just a dream?" Kim repeated, blinking rapidly as if finally realizing what was the true reality.
"Just a dream," Chay confirmed, taking Kim in his arms, letting Kim hold onto him tightly, while listening to his fast breathing and feeling it on his neck.
"I'm sorry that it happened again," Kim said into the crook of Chay's neck, calming himself down with the feeling of Chay's body all around him. Just feeling Chay's presence was enough. It was what always kept Kim sane even if they weren't touching. Just having Chay there in his life was enough. So safe, so calming, so comforting. Complete opposite of what his nightmares were torturing him with.
Chay rubbed Kim's back and planted soothing kisses on his shoulder, "I told you already — you never have to be sorry for your nightmares. It's not your fault. I'll be always here to take care of you...Kim, look at me." Kim raised his head from Chay's neck and even in the darkness of the night he could see Chay's eyes so big and so honest, asking him to believe all his words. "I love you, Kimhan Theerapanyakul. I love you now, I loved you yesterday, and I will love you tomorrow. Nothing is going to change that. What you did in the past isn't a reflection of how you are now. I have forgiven you a long time ago you know that I did. All I wish for now is for you to forgive yourself. Maybe one day when you do it...maybe then I will have a different answer in your nightmare. Maybe I won't send you away. Maybe I'll hold you in my arms like I'm holding you now and it won't be a nightmare anymore. One day."
"One day," Kim nodded. They both knew it wouldn't happen soon but one day together they would get there. And Chay was going to make sure that the journey to that day would be filled with nothing but precious memories they would keep forever.
"Can I kiss you?" Kim asked, his fingers tracing the outlines of Chay's youthful face. Chay smiled, taking Kim's hand in his own, "since when do you have to ask, silly? I'm always in need of more Kim's kisses."
Kim was happy. The lingering feeling of the nightmare that was pulling him down since he woke up was gone. He took Chay's lips between his own, savoring the perfect taste only his angel could give him. The kiss was slow and gentle, expressing their emotions better than any words ever could. Kim's nightmares will be there the next night and the night after that. But Chay will be there too, holding Kim in his arms, bringing him back to reality, back to Chay where Kim belonged.
The past didn't break only Chay. It broke them both. Chay survived, for he wasn't guilty. Kim was still barely surviving, for he had to bear the pain of being the one guilty. But for every moment in Chay's arms, he could feel how it was, to not only survive but to live.
