KimChay short stories collection. Too many KimChay ideas to turn them all into a full length AUs so here you have all the drabbles and one shots I have written so far <3
— Tankhun managed to convince Kim to come to a karaoke party, swearing up and down that Chay won't be there just for Kim to open the door to the karaoke room and the first thing to see is Chay, who still hasn't forgiven him, as he sings Heartbreak Anniversary—
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"No Kittisawat will be there, Kimmy. I promise you that. You can trust me!" Tankhun says into the phone, waiting for Kim's answer on the other side of the line.
But instead of an answer comes a question, "can I?"
Tankhun gasps, "of course, you can trust me! I raised you, Kimhan. I'm the most trustworthy person in your life."
That's Porchay... if he is still in my life—Kim sighs, and nods even though his brother can't see him, "fine, I'll be there. Tonight at 9?"
Tanhkun on the other side of the line starts clapping from the excitement, "you won't regret it, Kimmy. See you there."
"Yeah, see you," Kim hangs up and throws the phone on the table. The last thing he is in the mood for is a karaoke party organized by his over-the-top brother. Heck, Kim isn't even in the mood for singing. The last time he sang it was for Porchay and even that turned out to be a fucking failure. Kim doesn't know for how long he can hold on like this. The worst mistake he had ever made was letting go of Porchay and now that mistake is constantly twisting a dagger in his heart, sinking it deeper and deeper. Kim knows that he deserves it. He deserves Chay trying to stay as far away from him as possible. He deserves Chay completely ignoring him, not even looking in his direction but it fucking hurts. It's the worst kind of pain Kim had ever felt. And Kim is used to pain. Used to feeling it, used to inflict it on others but this... this is hell. It's the kind of agony even he wouldn't wish upon his worst enemies.
☆☆☆☆☆
Kim gets out of his car at exactly 9 pm. He gets into the karaoke bar and looks for room number 13.
The moment he walks in he wants to turn and leave but his brother is faster. Tankhun pushes Kim inside completely and locks the door, leaving Kim in the room alone only with Porchay... singing Porchay.
"It's cold outside
Like when you walked out of my life
Why you walked out of my life?"
Chay turns to look at Kim and Kim isn't sure. He isn't sure that he can handle Chay finally looking at him but like this—with so much pain in his eyes. It's tearing Kim apart.
"I get like this every time
On these days that feel like you and me
Heartbreak anniversary
'Cause I remember every time
On this days that feel like you and me
Heartbreak anniversary
Do you ever think of me?"
"....just like the day that I met you
The day I thought forever
Said that you love me"
Chay suddenly stops singing, looking right into Kim's eyes, he says, "but you never said that, p'Kim, did you?"
For the first time in his life, Kim feels so fragile that even the slightest wrong move or another rejection from Chay can shatter him forever.
"I love you," Kim says, the same way he kept repeating it for months, trying everything to get Chay to finally listen to him. To hear and feel the sincerity and despair in those words.
"I keep saying it over and over again and I'll continue to do it until you'll believe me."
A sad smile paints itself over Chay's face, "but you never said it when it mattered."
Kim shakes his head frantically, "it still matters, Porchay. It matters and for me, it will matter forever."
Chay puts the microphone away letting the melody of the song blend into the background, "how? How can I trust you again, p'Kim? How can I know that after a while you won't decide to lie to me again, to use me again, just to get something else you want? New information, perhaps."
"I'm never going to involve you in anything related to mafia, Porchay. I swear to you. I swear that I'll keep you safe. I swear that I won't lie to you ever again," Kim steps closer, one of his hands is reached out to Chay, but he doesn't touch him, instead, he raises the hand and runs it through his hair. Kim isn't even realizing that his hand is shaking... but Chay does. "I don't know, Porchay. I don't know what else to do to deserve one more chance. Just one. All I'm asking for is one more chance. I swear that if I hurt you again I'll leave and you'll never see me again. I—"
"So you are already planning to leave me again?" Chay suddenly said, grabbing Kim's leather jacket and pulling him closer. "You would leave me again, p'Kim? Would you?"
Chay smells the way he used to, sweet like vanilla. The heat of Chay's body is something Kim missed and craved for so long, he feels like crying. He doesn't know what is happening, all he knows is that the last time Chay allowed him so close, Chay's innocence wasn't maimed by the kidnapping yet.
"If you allow me to, I'll never leave, Porchay. I will be by your side every day, every night. Whenever you will need me I will be with you. I'll do anything for you. Just please, let me love you again, let me love you openly, let me love you the way you deserve, let—"
Chay thought about this a lot. He is ready to give Kim a second chance, really is but he is nervous. He planned to kiss Kim first and he is doing it now but is he even good? What if he sucks? Chay slowly pulls away, Kim is quiet. His eyes are glued to Chay's lips and Chay feels somehow naked, insecure. Chay clears his throat, "ehmm... uhm... was it good?"
"Porchay," that's the only thing Kim whispers and pulls Chay into another kiss. As much as Kim is desperate for Chay, he kisses him slowly. Was it good?... It was all Kim had dreamed of and more, much more. It's Porchay, finally allowing Kim to love him as he truly deserves. To Kim, there never be a better feeling than this.
Kim pulls away, still holding Chay's face in his palms, "I love you."
"So," Chay licks his lips, "ehmm it was good?"
Kim smiles, "it was, it was more than good. You are more than good. You are everything to me, Porchay, I'm going to make sure that you won't regret this. I'm going to love you like I should have loved you from the beginning. Do you believe me?"
Chay nods, he hugs Kim tightly, just like he did all those months ago in the studio, "I do. I believe you, p'Kim."
