Spider-Man oneshots

Shopping

There is a reason why the Avengers have their groceries delivered to their doorstep. A good reason. A brilliant one, really, if you ask Tony. As always, lessons are best learned through pain. That's how the saying goes, right? Coming up from an engineering binge, he stumbled into the tower's kitchen. 

His sole focus had been on the dark liquid enticingly dripping from his life source: The coffeemaker he built after one terrible morning the silver monstrosity someone – Jarvis, he was sure it was his fault – had bought, refused to give him the fluid of life and he had lost it. And maybe destroyed it with vicious vengeance. The important information here was, he was focused on refilling his cup and had no desire whatsoever to get between the 'Mightiest Heroes of Earth' or how he liked to call them 'The crazy people that lived off of his pockets and were way to loud and oh god, drop Peter this instance Thor or so help me...' Yeah, it wasn't catchy but he had given up a long time ago to- 

"Mr. Stark!" Peter's joy was clear in his voice and Tony just couldn't bring himself to not react the way that would bring that happy smile to the boy's lips. He was a sucker for the kid and by the smiles around the kitchen everyone knew it. 

 "What's up Spiderling?" He ruffled the soft brown locks while passing, his eyes still fixed on the beautiful machine that would renew his will to live. 

 "Mr. Rogers just-" 

 "Call me Steve, Peter." Steve interjected, but Peter ignored him and just babbled along. 

 "-told me that he hasn't been groceries shopping. Can you imagine?" 

 "I can." The wonderful smell of freshly brewed liquid luck filled the kitchen and Tony felt some of the strain already melting away. 

 "We should go shopping with him!" 

 "Peter-" 

 "Mr. Thor have you been groceries shopping?"

 "No, I have not, young Stark." 

 "I could use some things actually." Nat murmured, appearing out of thin air, just behind Tony's shoulder. He learned to not shit himself a couple years ago, when he accepted that this was his life now and it was far more possible that he would be killed by an overgrown pink bunny on a rampage than it was that the Russian assassin that lived with him would make do on one of her threatening glances. Ignorance is bliss after all. 

 "I'm driving!" Clint yelled excited. There was a clutter and something falling. 

 "Have fun." Tony said, trying to just leave again into the organized chaos that was is haven, before they could rope him into— Fifteen minutes later, he was still asking himself how the hell the Avengers had managed to get Happy to drive all of them in a limousine to get freaking groceries. 

The only reason he wasn't outright trying to fling himself out of the window was that on his right side sat Peter, happily telling him about something or another he did with his friend the other day. Steve sat on his left, his leg pressing against his own, a smile dancing in his eyes and distracting Tony. His blue eyes should be registered as deadly weapons or possible means to alter someone mind, because Tony knew he had declined to accompany them to get groceries. Of course, not even Tony could have anticipated the sheer destruction the Avengers could do while buying freaking groceries. In hindsight it was so obvious.

 All of those idiot-people – family members, whatever – would use any outing to destroy his reputation and the reputation of the Avengers. 

 "I already explained it to you, Cap-"