The Unusual Suspects Book 2

Tony

I had really been so caught up in my mind lately it was crazy. After having that conversation with the fellas the other day, I started to reflect on myself. I really don't know exactly what I wanted to do with myself. Like everybody has their thing and was settling into it except me. I mean of course college hadn't started yet and I could really be in the gym preparing for that, but what was my thing though. I might just be lightweight having an identity crisis...or maybe I'm just a strong supporting character in everyone's lives around me. I don't know.                                           "What's going on Tony?" My brother said as he came in the kitchen and sat down.                          "Nothing much was just in here thinking." I said as I focused my attention on him.                             "I know, but I feel like God told me to come see about you." Here he go...                                             "Is that right?" I said as I checked my phone for a moment.                                                                        "I'm being serious. I was upstairs reading and just something kept telling me to come down here, so in attempts to be obedient, here I am. So...talk to me, what's on your mind?" he asked.    I looked over at Jose and sometimes I can't even believe that he it is him that is speaking back. On the flipside, I didn't have anyone else to talk to about it.                                                                        "Well...I had been thinking a lot lately on like what is my strong suit...like what's my thing."        "And what did you come up with?" he asked me and I just looked at him. "So basically you've been trying to figure out your purpose?" he asked and I nodded. "To be honest that's problem a conversation that you need to have with the Lord. I know you're probably internally rolling your eyes but I have my reasons for saying that. Sometimes what we can't see in ourselves, He has a way of revealing to us later on. I mean because a year ago, who would've ever thought that I would be the way the that I am now. But sometimes when your mind is in chaos like that, He might be trying to isolate you. Elevation requires separation. But of course I'm not here to interrupt whatever God has for you, but just to encourage you to lean on Him for answers." I'm not even gonna lie, Jose been dropping pure gems.                                                                                          "You're right though...if anybody would've said you'd be like this a year ago, ain't no way it would've been believable." We both busted out in a round of laughter. "But you might be right though man. I don't know I just don't see what my whole role really is or if I matter."                       "If you matter? Ant you're literally a natural born leader. I may not have cared to admit it when I was living wrong, but I thank you for everything. You definitely tried to lead me in the right direction and you picked up dad's slack when necessary. You literally talk your friends out of doing some of the most reckless things. You always are voted to be a captain or a leader in everything that you participate in. There should be no reason for you to have to question if you matter, none of us would be where we are without you. A lot can be said about a man who can bring about a change in others, because when you realize how hard it is to change yourself, it shows you how much harder it has to be to change others. Yet...here you are. If you don't see it in yourself, then I just pray that maybe you can view yourself from my eyes then bro. I appreciate you and I love you man." For the first time in a long time, I embraced my brother. He was so different and even though I wasn't ready to go his route, I respect his journey. Plus he helped me gain a perspective that I really hadn't noticed up  until this point.                                                               "I love you too bro. You know I got you forever, without a question." I told him.                                   "Trust me, I already know."                                                                                                                                              "Well at least I know if I didn't do anything else right, I raised you guys right." Our mom said as she walked into the kitchen smiling. "I had been listening to you two for a couple of minutes. I see a lot of growth and maturity from you both. Jose, for one I'm sure none of us saw this change in you coming. But we welcome it and support you all the way. Antonio...you know you surprised me by graduating and getting accepted into college. You accomplished that also while preparing to become a father...a great one at that. And Ana really is blossoming well in school after her recovery. I really couldn't ask for better children." She said as she reached across the table and grabbed my hand and Jose's. "I love you both and appreciate all that you do."                "No mami, we love and appreciate all that you and Pa do. We know we haven't always been the picture perfect kids and if it wasn't for having a praying mother, where would we be?" Jose said.  "I know there's plenty of nights I would've never made it without those prayers. I was really out here living reckless and foul and comfortable with it. But this whole past 2 years really opened my eyes and I realized I couldn't just tell Jose the right way, I had to show it. And then how could I tell Adrianna to focus on the books, if I didn't? You for sure raised us right, we just did what we wanted." I assured her and she nodded her head at that.                                                                                   "But we're back and better than ever! We're not those same lil boys though." Jose said.                   "You're right mijo...you both have grown into some fine young men and I'm blessed enough to call you mine." She said and we all kinda just looked around at each other. In that moment, maybe my purpose had been revealed to me.