Toya

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"So did you enjoy yourself?" Tony asked me after we were getting settled back in his room.
"Absolutely. Your aunts and uncles were so nice. It was a great time." I told him.
"Yeah, it's always a good time when they come around for real. It felt like when my dad used to come back after a tour and they'd always throw something big no matter where we were." he said it practically with stars in his eyes. I could tell he was happy himself with how everything went. I thought after the baby shower that Iris threw that I had everything, but Lord they really showed out at this one. I was ecstatic to be in the process of entering into a family that's so close-knit and loving. I never got to experience this growing up. Thank God, my son would never be able to say the same thing. I'm so grateful.
"That's a beautiful thing." I said to him.
"Not as beautiful as you." he said.
"Ooohhhh so what you want? You really bringing out the big guns now." I said in a joking manner and we both laughed.
"Nothing. Everything I want, I have right now. Thank you." he said to me.
"Okay then!" I said as I began to take my dress off and he just watched me. "What?" I asked after we locked eyes.
"You ready for this?" he asked me.
"Of course. Are you?" I asked in return. He walked over to me and stood directly in front of me and looked in my eyes.
"I've been ready from the jump. You gotta think, my family expected this from me wat before now. That's usually how it goes with Puerto Ricans. Then...you know by the time my parents were my age, they already had me and Jose. I wasn't shooting to knock you up or nothing, but at the same time, this our blessing. So even if the timing isn't quite right, I wouldn't want this to be with anyone else though." I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. The level of intimacy that we had between us was so crazy. It's hard to believe we had even broken up and contemplating co-parenting. I'll be real though, that took me on an emotional rollercoaster. But it was worth it to have the peace and security that I have now. Sometimes, we as women, overlook the fact that these dudes are a catch too. It's not just us for real and seldom times do we come to this conclusion before the guy is gone for good.
"Thank you." I said as I kissed his cheek.
"For what Mi Amor?" he asked me.
"For just being you. For being here. For bringing me into the beauty of life. The supreme beauty of it that is."
"Well...I needed it to frame you."
"Lorddd you been hanging in the studio too much now. You are getting awesome with the comebacks." I said and we both laughed at that one.
"Shiiittttttttt them fools wish they were as smooth as me. I might could sell them some of this here." he said all cocky and whatnot.
"Boy hush! You don't have any game."
"Baby, I am a mack." We continued the laughs. Man...if only he knew.
"So...you getting ready for graduation?"
"You know it!! This has been a long time coming for me. Time for me to be the example for Jose and Ana. I gotta show them that this is the way to go and that it is attainable. I made some mistakes that I can't take back, but I still persevered. This right here has been my focus time and I owe that to you."
"No, you don't owe that to me. You had it in you already, you just needed someone else to believe in you too. You needed a little extra push is all. You have a brain. You're highly intelligent and you're excellent at reading people in general. You at 20 years old, can do much more than people 20 years your senior. I just want you to look in the mirror and see what I see." He smiled.
"What?" I said to him.
"You know what I see when I look in the mirror?" he said laughing and I just knew he was on his best bullshit. I just shook my head and prepared myself for whatever he was about to spew out. "I see pride. I see power. I see a bad ass mother, that won't take no crap from nobody!" We both burst into the biggest bunch of laughter.
"I love that movie." I said between laughs. It seems as if this laughing and living life was what we all had been able to do so much more lately. At first I was a little skittish about getting pregnant in high school. And now I feel like pregnancy taught me a lot. It helped me with discernment and understanding for other people. I'll admit it softened me a lot. But the way I was living, wasn't any way to live. The mentality that I had was far from what I needed to have. Now I'm much more well rounded and it was necessary for my son.
"I know. Your goofy ass was singing the Jamaican bobsled song on so many different occasions." We continued to laugh. "All your little quirks is why I adore you though. Toy, you're unapologetically you. Though you can come across strong as fuck. You still stand by everything you say or do. That's admirable. Especially at at time in life where people are trying to box themselves in or conform to norms, you aren't afraid to go against the grain. Your strength is what is gonna help raise our son to be a strong man." he told me and we took a seat on the bed.
"But that's where I have to thank you. Anthony, your strength and determination this past year has motivated me as well. Your care and compassion warms my entire being. You were there for every up and down. Through all the trials and triumphs, you remained solid. Even when I didn't make it easy for you to. When I count my blessings Tony, I count you twice. I couldn't ask for a better fiance or a better father for our child."

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