The Unusual Suspects Book 2

Tony

I was sitting in the warehouse with C. Me, Mar, and C Money had been here for a few hours and I learned so much so quick. I never knew dawg's parents were still living, let alone how ugly the actuality of his situation was. I can't fathom that shit at all.
"Not that I want us to sit here and trade stories or anything, but you know I of all people, understand you C. My mom is definitely a piss poor parent as well." Mar told him.
"At least yours had drugs as an excuse. Mine just abandoned me because I was too much." C said and I felt that pain in his voice.
"Allow me to interject for a moment. I know I can't relate but I can empathize. Both of y'all moms have no idea what they've been missing out on. Mar, you've grown up so much in the past year it's crazy. You're literally holding down the house with all the women and all the kids successfully. You're a natural born leader, you always had my respect. And C...bruh you are a talented and successful owner of a record label. Your artists are getting major buzz and that's all off the strength of you. You managed to manage all of them, graduate, plan an epic graduation party, and plan an extravagant wedding. Who the hell could've done that? Nobody. You wear so many hats I don't know why your head isn't spinning. Respectfully, fuck her she's missing out, not you." I told them and they both looked blankly for a moment and then nodded at the facts that I pointed out. "Listen we're not perfect, but flaws and all, we're building dynasties and establishing legacies. It was NEVER your loss. Remember that!"
"I just want to know why. Like that's the part that drives me crazy. Like what did I do or not do? What did I say? What expectation did I not live up to? Like how can you bring a life into the world and then just be like fuck him? Like how? Why?" C said.                                                                               "You have to learn to be okay with possibly never getting the answer to any of those questions. Realistically, she'll probably not be able to give it to you. Sometimes it's really not you that's the problem. Y'all have to stop looking within about an issue that's not within you. You didn't do this. And neither did you. Y'all are dealing with the aftermath, but they're the ones dealing with a loss. If they can't see your value, then why waste time allowing them to have any value in your life? They gave you life, but you don't owe them yours in return." I said and Mar nodded.                 
"You're right Ant, but the thing is, it's easier said than done. I don't think about her most days...but sometimes it's shit that's a trigger and you start to wonder. It's natural." he said as he shrugged.
"Exactly! I don't live each day of my life thinking of my moms either, but when someone mentions theirs, I do. When I see interactions that others have with theirs, I do. When I proposed, I did. When graduation was approaching, I did. On the biggest night of my life, I did. And then seeing my dad, just made it that much harder to not think about her. Don't get me wrong, I'm not no emotional ass nigga, but I got a heart too. Explain to me how you just let that go? I've tried...but it all comes running back." At that moment, I understood why it was so hard for them to leave this life alone. It's not that they wanted to be gangstas, but that's all they really knew. They didn't get that love or guidance, so they found it in the streets. I saw that clearly.       
"Listen, I can't tell y'all how to feel or what to do, I can only tell you what I see. We all close so we know how to tell each other the truth no matter how ugly it is. I know I can't relate to y'all situations but I hear you both. I want more for both of you and you deserve that much. Like I said your accomplishments alone say so much. With all this in the back of your mind and weighing on your heart, you still thug shit out in life. I'm not nowhere near as accomplished as neither one of you and I've had both of my parents my whole life. So what that tell you?" I said.   "Bruhhh listen though, that's not entirely true. When your dad was overseas and when he was going through his times, you're the man of the house. You're expected to oversee Jose & Ana and you do that, because you stepped into that role. That's an accomplishment in itself. You might physically have your parents, but you could run the household without them and still do it correctly. You got good damn sense and a solid ass foundation T. That's just on the real. You can relate, but not to the same magnitude. Do you ever feel a resentment for having to be the man?" Until C had just asked me that question, I never thought about it. "See what I mean?" he said.     
"The difference is, your mom appreciates  you and all that you do. But sometimes you've been without a father, though not intentional, but you can relate." Mar said to me.                 
"Listen, just like when we're out here in the field, we gotta train our minds to be stronger than our emotions. I'm not saying fuck it or invalidate how the fuck y'all feel, but it's some things that it's best to just let be. On the real, ask yourselves, if they have legit answers to your questions, what would that change? What they did to you, was still done. It'll change nothing, so why give it your energy? You gotta protect your peace, that's what I do. Maybe you  gotta let it out and say whatever you need, but after that, release it. You can't let that shit have that type of hold on you. The only way is up from here."