The Unusual Suspects Book 2

Jay

We had all helped them straighten everything back up and put things in their perspective places. Everyone started exiting little by little. I looked over and seen D on her way out the door and I had to talk to her for a minute.
"D, can we talk for a minute? I promise I won't take up all your time." I said as she stopped in her tracks and looked at me. I walked outside and down the steps where she was standing. "I want to apologize..." she shifted a little bit. "...no really apologize. I was wrong and insensitive and an asshole for real. We both lost a big part of us and I couldn't see past my own hurt to see yours. I blame myself for the pain I caused you, it's not right. I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."
"I already forgave you. One thing I do know is hurt people, hurt people. So...you couldn't help it. I just hope you get some help before you ruin anyone else." she said as she started to walk away. I stopped her.
"I never meant to do that to you. You deserve the world and everything in it. Allow someone to give you that. Don't let what I did ruin you for your future. D, I never wanted you to leave school, all of this was your dream. Don't allow me to stand in your way. You've worked so hard, you deserve everything that's coming to you. You didn't deserve anything I put you through and that's real. I'm so sorry." I said as I went to grab her hand and I peeped the bracelet on her wrist. "That's your rap name?" I asked as she looked down at it .
"Yes, it is." she said to me.
"Continue to shine bright D." I said. She looked at me for several moments.
"Thank you, I..." her phone rang and she looked down at it and put her finger up to motion to me to give her a minute. I could tell in her body language and the smile on her face who was on the other end of that phone. In that instant, I knew it was real, she was gone. She came back over. "...I appreciate everything you said, I needed to hear that. But have the heart to forgive yourself. Then find enough love for you, to get you some help Jay. You can't find peace in multiple women and getting drunk every night." she said.
"Didn't think you cared." I said.
"Regardless of where our relationship stands now, I'm human, and you will always be the father of my daughter. I care, but I'm no longer imprisoned by it." she said as she went to her car and left. I watched her drive away and I stood there taking that in.
"That was hard to watch." I heard Toya say standing in the doorway.
"My bad, I didn't think anybody was there." I said as I started to walk to my car to get out of here. "Come here bruh." she said as she sat down on the top step and I walked back over and stood there facing her. "You made a mistake, but you're not a mistake. You've grown a lot from the character that I initially met..." she said and we shared a laugh. "...She had a point though. Love yourself enough to get help to continue to be a better you. You might have lost her as your girl, but you still have you. Stop mishandling yourself. We don't get mad at you messing with Jazz because you're messing with her. We get mad, because you can do so much better and you're selling yourself short. You take pride in your appearance, but not how you carry yourself. You love your appearance, but what about your character? The things that have pure substance, you drop the ball on. You were better with Dom, if I'm being honest. I don't know who you are anymore. But I also don't think you do either. Bro, take a step back and pull yourself together before college. You don't want to crash out at the wrong time. Take time to refocus. Plus maybe you'd benefit from those grief meetings as well. Think about it." she said as she stood up for a moment and she reached out and hugged me. "I always said you were like the annoying little brother that I never had..." we both laughed. "...but you are my brother and I'm here."
"Thanks Toya, I appreciate that. Love ya sis." I said as we pulled apart.
"Love ya too bro. Make sure you let Tony know when you make it home."
"Will do." I said as I got in my car and started on my way home. We are all a sum of our own actions and maybe they were right, maybe I wasn't loving myself accordingly. I probably beat myself up about choices I've made more than anyone else does. I pulled up to the house and sat in my car for a minute trying to collect myself when I saw my mother's car pull into the driveway. She walked over to me and came and sat in the car. "Well you look sober." she said to me.
"I am ma." I told her and she nodded.
"You know Jay...you're my only child and I love you beyond measure, right?" I nodded. "Then understand me when I say, I'll do anything to preserve you."
"Ma, I know. I've been spiraling real bad and I'm sorry. I don't want to stress you or take you through anything to add stress to you. I think I need a new psychiatrist and probably different medicine too." She looked in my eyes as I was speaking and I saw tears in her eyes. "Maybe need the same grief meetings that she attends too."
"I think you're right. We can always get you in somewhere else. And if you're serious about the meetings, I'll even go with you. But please, please do something son. This isn't it." she said to me and I reached over and hugged her and she embraced me tightly. I needed this, sometimes a nigga really wanna feel like somebody is in his corner for real.