Long Lasting Lyrics | UNDER EDITING

The Most Alive I Felt In Weeks

On Tuesday, at six, Summer came over with a visitor. I hadn't of course, been at school that day, so it was the first I'd seen of her.

She came into my bedroom and said hello.
"Hello July, I do have someone here with me this time," she smiled.
"Yeah?" I sighed.
She walked in and the boy with shaggy blonde hair and chocolate brown eyes, followed her in.
"August?" I whispered.
"Hello July," he replied.
I gazed at him, still on the window sill.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"No," I admitted.
"I'm going to leave you two be," Summer said, walking out of my bedroom and shutting the door behind her.
"What's up?" He said, sitting beside me.
"I don't talk to jerks," I sneered.
"I know July, I messed up. I'll even tell you why," he sighed.
"Go on," I said.
"Well, I...I...I was only dating Roxanne because her Dad employs my Dad. I actually started dating her for real a year and a half ago and when I wanted to break up she threatened to have my Dad fired. I knew that if he did get fired, we'd be with a shortage of money and lose our house. I mean it's only Dad and I at home. So I had to keep dating Roxanne.
It was alright until I met you. And when us kissing was caught on camera, Roxanne blackmailed me into ignoring you and staying with her. I'm really sorry. I cannot believe I let you suffer like this," he began to cry quietly.
"Please don't cry August," I said, meekly.
"Only if you forgive me," he sniffed.
"Of course I do!"
"Really?"
"Yes."
He pulled me into a hug but then his eyes landed on my wrists.
"July what the hell are you doing to yourself?"
"Nothing," I said, pulling away and hiding my hands behind my back.
August pulled them out and inspected them.
"July?" His voice cracked. "Why are you self harming?"
"Because I don't deserve to live."
August stared at me. His eyes misted up.
"Tell me one reason why."
"Look I'm just punishing myself for not dying instead of May. I've fucked up way too many times after."
August looked alarmed. I hardly ever swore. I'm pretty sure that's the first time he actually heard me swear.
"You can't say that. How have you fucked up?"
"My brother is moving to England and I'm here like a selfish bitch wanting him to stay, my sister has been expelled again and I've known for ages she's been bullied and I haven't told anyone, my parents don't love me, I've screamed at Summer after everything she's been through, I've never given my sister Amelia any attention or second thought, I made you cheat on your girlfriend, who happened to be my best friend at the time and I should have gone instead of May," I sobbed.

August stared at me. His brown eyes studying mine.
"July, you are an amazing person. Do not do this to yourself. None of those things are your fault. Absolutely none of them."
"I'm fine. It doesn't matter anyways. Everything's a big mess at the moment, I mean that's only half of why cutting myself and staring out a window bring me pleasure," I sighed.
"Okay so what's the rest?"
"Well everyone at school is bullying me, I'm being threatened, these stupid panic things are regular, my Dad is abusing me and I lost you. Along with all the problems I said earlier. WHEN DID EVERYTHING MESS UP?" I cried.
"Look July, I cannot fix any of those problems," he sighed, "except one."
"Yeah?"
"Close your eyes,"
"Why?"
"Just close them,"
"Okay," I giggled, closing them.

I was about to say something else when I felt his soft lips touch mine. It was magical. He placed his hands on my waist and began to pull me closer. I wrapped my arms around him. There was no gap between our bodies as we kept kissing. The whole world melted away. Happy tears gently slid down my cheeks. Soon his mouth opened. I let a small gasp escape my lips. He smirked slightly but didn't break away. I opened my mouth too and felt my tongue seeking his. It was perfect. He pulled me closer as our tongues danced together.

"August?" I said when we broke apart.
"Yeah?"
I put my arms around his neck and gazed into his eyes.
"Thank you," I smiled.
"No problem, but July don't self harm."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want to see you ruining yourself like this. And I don't want to see you hurt nor be close to suicide. I can't loose you July."
"Why? I'm a waste of space anyways."
"No your not July."
"I am. I honestly don't know why you like me."
"I don't like you."
"What?" tears began to form in my eyes. Why is he here if he doesn't like me? Why doesn't he just fucking leave?

"July, I'm in l..love with you."
I stared at him in complete shock.
"But why would you be in love with me?"
"You're just so different, so amazing and I love everything about you."
"August?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm in love with you too."
I was shocked that it came from my mouth but I knew it was true.
"Really?" He smiled.
"Yes and I'll prove it," I smiled before crashing my lips against his.

Summer walked back in casually and got the shock of her life when she saw is both. We didn't stop our kiss though. She slipped back out and shut the door behind her again.

It was the most alive I felt in weeks.

A/N
Please tell me I'm getting better at this lovey stuff? Or am I still terrible? Yeah I obviously have never had a boyfriend so I get my experience from other books xD

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Lots of Love,
mindofmagic 🌸