My greatest hero

chapter 100

Loki woke up later that day, it was late afternoon. The sat up, groaning a little, all his cuts and bruises were still hurting a bit, he rubbed his eyes and looked at the side up the bed where Eira should be and felt tears resurfacing.
'No, stop, get ahold of yourself' He said to himself as he He rested his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands.
"Good morning" he was startled to hear Thor's voice and jumped back in surprise. "Or should I say afternoon" he added. He was sitting in a chair a few feet from Loki's bed. "What are you doing here?" Loki asked, not sure why Thor was sitting there doing nothing. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay when you woke up" Thor told him, loki nodded a little.
"How long have I been asleep?" He asked.
"About nine hours" Thor told him. Loki pulled himself up and out of bed, he still felt exhausted even after hours of sleep. "That's some intense drug you gave me" he said, trying To think of something other than Eira.
"Actually, the drug wore off in half an hour, you were just dead tired" Thor told him. Loki remembered how he felt earlier, the feeling that he just needed to destroy everything because his own world was shattered to pieces.
"Are you alright?" Thor asked in concern, seeing Loki's eyes getting teary again.
"Do I look alright?" Loki asked as he walked past Thor and into the bathroom to get dressed. He came back and Thor was still sitting there.
"You can go, I'll be fine" loki said, but he felt himself chocking on his own words.
"Do you want to talk about it? Or anything? I'm willing to listen" Thor said back. He knew loki, he knew he wanted to talk but wouldn't admit it, he knew he needed help but wouldn't ask for it, and he knew he was going to go into another destructive fit if he left the room.
"I don't know. I just don't know what to do" he said, sitting back down. "I dont know what to do! I don't know how to deal with this! I want to hurt someone and make them feel the pain im feeling but I can't!" He said, putting his head in his fists.
"And I want her to be with me, I want to hold her, I want to hear her laugh, but I can't, she's gone!"He yelled, getting worked up again. "I wish it was easy". He added.
"We all wish it was easy, but if it was easy then you wouldn't have really loved her." Thor told him, loki nodded.
"I know" he choked. "And all the things the two of you did together, and for each other, doesn't it make it worth the pain?" Thor asked, loki smiled a little.
"When did you get so good with words?" Loki said a little jokingly, but Thor didn't reply, there really wasn't an answer.
"There's just so much I wanted to do with her, so much we never got the chance to do together. We were going to rule asgard together, we were going to have a family, I was finally going to be able to be king the right way, with her by my side, and now-" he said, trying to swallow the lump in his throat, but a few tears slipped out. "And I never knew what she was going to-" he started but stopped mid-sentence, he looked over at Thor. "What did she tell you?" He asked.
"What?" Thor asked, not expecting Loki's sudden change of thought.
"What did she tell you? she never told me" loki said, starting to sound a little more angry.
"When?" Thor asked, hoping loki would loose his thought process and move on.
"Don't play dumb Thor, tell me what she said to you!" He yelled, Thor could see his anger growing.
"Loki, relax, take a deep breath" Thor said, coming over to him.
"Tell me what she told you!" Loki yelled, standing up. "What was this big secret that she could easily tell you but not me?! Was she in love with someone else?! Was she-" loki started, but Thor cut him off.
"No, loki she was yours and yours alone, she was not doing anything against you I promise you that" thor told him.
"Well then what was it?! Tell me please! I need to know!" He shouted back.
"Loki, please, It will only make you feel worse" Thor told him.
"Look at me! Do I look like I could get any worse?!" Loki yelled back, he was right, he looked terrible, he couldn't control himself, and the only reason he'd slept at all was because he was drugged, he was a total mess.
"Loki, it won't make anything better, you don't need to know, trust me, you don't want to know" Thor insisted.
"Tell me now!" Loki barked, getting even more angry, thoughts of what she could've told him ran through his head.
'Was she already dying? Was she with someone else? Did he not want to be queen? Was there more happening with her sister?' He kept trying to think of what it could be.
"Eira was-" Thor started, but couldn't finish, loki was already so broken, as he hated to be the cause of further heartache.
"She was what?" Loki asked in a choking voice, the pain in his face was so clear.
"She was pregnant" Thor told him sadly. Loki felt the color rush out of his face, the one thing that never crossed his mind, the one thing that was so obvious but he never guessed, the one thing that could make him feel worse than he already did; he didn't just loose his wife, he lost his child at the same time