All About Us [Yuri Katsuki x Reader]

61 - Seek

After almost an agonizing hour of searching you desperately needed a break.

Your hand throbbed after having written a shit ton of notes. You have been playing with the idea of composing your own piece as Yuri had earlier suggested, but you didn't feel like doing so at all.

Yuri had been patiently looking along with you in hopes to find your song for your free skate. He felt like it was the least he could do since you are helping to perfect his own piece.

He could never truly express how much he appreciated you, so seeing you in such distress was a huge concern for him.

You rubbed your temple in frustration; this whole process was proving to be tedious.

Neither of you were getting any where.

You got up from Yuri's bed which made him raise a brow at you questioningly, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to bed...this is getting exhausting,"

"How about breakfast?"

"I'm not hungry," you piled up your notes in your arms and left Yuri's room without another word. He watched your retreating form, worry shone through his eyes.

You headed back to your room and gently shut the door behind you. You set aside your papers on your bedside table and robotically lied down, your back against the wall.

Picking out a song was no laughing matter. Picking out a theme...even more so.

It is not as easy as one would think. A lot of thought has to go into the selection process.

This would be the song that you would be skating to for the entire season. You wanted it to be something meaningful, something that would stick close to your heart.

Music was more than a bunch of notes carefully arranged to sound good,it was a language. It breaks barriers. It expresses what cannot be said on which it is impossible to stay silent.

The music that you wanted needs to fit where you are in your life right now...and honestly, you weren't even that sure anymore.

You were getting anxious, your head began to fill up with 'what if's'.

What if you never get to find what you were looking for?

Yuri was lucky. He at least had an idea of what he wanted for this season.

As of late, your heart has never been into the sport. You did not even consider getting back on the ice after your short break. You thought that maybe if you stayed away long enough, you would slowly fade away in the background. Your name would be added among many of those who have been forgotten. 

You didn't mind it all. In fact, you embraced the idea.

You hadn't said it out loud, but you never planned on getting back to the ice.

In all honesty, you were more than ready to stop skating all together this year. It has been such a great experience. You managed to go to places you haven't even been to before, meet new people, make new friends and create amazing memories.

That brief stunt you pulled at the rink during your first day back in Hasetsu would have most likely have been your swan song.

You were told yourself that you were ready, ready to leave all of those things behind.

You figured that you wouldn't mind just standing by Yuri's side. It was more than enough watching Yuri the thing that he loves. It was more than enough being whatever it was that he needed. His pillar of support, his crutch when he could barely stand, you'd do anything. 

Of course, that was until Yuri himself managed to convince you other wise.

He had such a way with words.

Love.

That was what continually motivates him to pick himself up after a bad fall.  

He meant the world to you...sometimes you wonder how you didn't figure that bit of information out sooner. He deserves the world and more.

He inspired you.

He was so driven, so passionate.

You wanted to be able to emulate that passion. You wanted to find what it was that drives you, what makes you want to carry on with the sport.

You racked your mind for ideas.

You still came up with nothing.

You wanted to cry out in frustration. You wanted to break something. 

You were certain you have been over this. It was as if after one issue is resolved, another one always follows.

Tossing and turning around, trying to find a more comfortable position, you somehow managed to fall off the bed and onto the floor with a thud.

Groaning and uttering out a string of curses, got up but then hit your head at the corer of your bedside table.

You grew livid.

Kicking the piece of furniture seemed like such a good idea in the spur of your anger.

You only ended up with a sore foot and a mess to clean up.

Picking up the papers that you have so carefully piled up one on top of the other earlier, you noticed something that was out of place with the rest.

It was an old photograph taken years ago, right before you moved to Japan.

It was a picture of you and your family sitting on the porch of your old house back in (old hometown). You were all smiling...you all looked happy, content.

You tried to remember who took the picture.

You frowned.

You were all still together then. They weren't as far off as they were now. They were not so far from reach.

You don't even remember having this photo, neither do you remember having placed it on top of the table.

You didn't know why you kept it for so long.

You further scrutinized the picture. Trying to remember just exactly what happened that day. The other scattered notes and knick knacks can wait.

You pursed your lips, deep in thought.

There was something about the picture. Something that made you felt nostalgic.

Your frown turned into a small, almost rueful smile.

You loved Hasetsu. You loved the people that has helped you make this place your home.

But you also missed the things that you had to leave behind.

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A bit of a filler chapter I suppose.

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