All About Us [Yuri Katsuki x Reader]

113 - Too much

Yuko eyed the person opposite of her with worry evident in her eyes. Never before had she seen Yuri look so unsure, so...lost. Sure, she had probably lost track of just how many times he had been upset due to nerves before a competition but this time, it was different. She knew that he usually felt a lot better after skating for a bit but now, even his visits to the rink were sporadic at best. And when he did come, he no longer entered the rink with Victor, instead he opted to practice alone. She had seen what he had been doing to himself in there, he was skating with such reckless abandon which was so unlike the Yuri that she does know.

She was going to lock up Ice Castle for the night which was why it came as a surprise to her to find her dark haired friend suddenly break down in the locker room so late that evening. She did not know what happened to cause him such distress. Calming him down took a bit of work. She first suggested that she take him back home to which he immediately declined, saying through choked sobs that he 'could not go back there after what he did'. She did not press seeing as she did not have the right to. Instead, she offered to give him some tea back at her place. She was relieved when Yuri hesitantly agreed. Which brings them here.

She remembers the time she first met Yuri. He was two years younger than she was. He was so shy and uncomfortable, with cheeks that were flushed in a lovely shade of red. He was new to skating then but she has already made a firm decision to teach him everything she did know. Even before, when the two of them were younger, she would invite Yuri over her place for some snacks and they would watch some television when they didn't feel like spending time in the rink. His number of visits soon decreased in number once she entered high school. Now, it decreased even more ever since she had married Takeshi and had kids but she was  glad that even despite all of that, the two of them still remained good friends...she only hopes that he would trust her enough to tell her what was troubling him.

The bespectacled skater sat opposite to her on the table, nursing a cup of tea that was already lukewarm. It was just the two of them since she had already put the triplets to bed and had ushered Takeshi out of the living room. Not a word was spoken between the two of them. Yuko really did not want to push Yuri into saying anything he didn't want to. It just didn't work that way...and frankly, Yuri did not think that he could bring himself to especially after weeks of avoiding everybody.

A lot of things were running through his mind. Sleep has become nothing more than a fleeting chore for the past few nights. The feeling was nothing new to him. He had encountered this a lot when he was younger. It was a sudden stabbing feeling in the back of his mind and the heavy, constricting weight that he felt in his chest that made it hard to breathe. It used to come in small pangs but he could no longer ignore the large doses that he had to take. He was lost...completely and utterly lost. He felt like a wondering traveler who knew not where he was headed.

He took a deep, shuddering breath and uttered out something almost too soft to hear. But she heard him, she heard him loud and clear as his small voice cut through the silence of the room.

"I don't know what to do anymore..."

It was a plea, a silent plea for help. But at the same time, it could denote to a lot of things. She felt her grip around her tea cup tighten a bit. This was what she was waiting for, for him to open up even a little bit. She just hadn't expected that she would now be the one who had nothing to say. She tried to find the words but she came out empty handed. What exactly does one say at times like this? After a brief moment of recomposing herself from his sudden statement, she gave him a kind smile and placed her hand over his trembling one, "It's alright, Yuri."

She didn't like to think highly of herself, saying that she knew exactly what he was going through. But she could see the pain evident in his eyes.