97 - Closed off

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There was knock on your door then a call for your name. After a few moments of patiently waiting for a response, the door to your bed room slowly slid open.

Hiroko was a very empathetic woman and more patient than most. She was also very perceptive. The moment the three of you had gone back to Hasetsu, there was a shift in your dynamic. Once you stepped foot on their doorstep, you immediately headed towards your room with what little luggage you had in tow leaving both Yuri and Victor behind without so much as an explanation. She quickly put two and two together that day. Something was wrong and she knew that it wasn't in her power to meddle and try to 'fix' things. So she waited.

It has been a few weeks since the three of you had come back from Beijing and you never really were the same. It honestly worried her. She knows you and she had grown to consider you as a part of the family considering how you and Yuri always seemed to stick together...but now...you kept mostly to yourself, away from everyone else.

You hardly came out of the room and she was not only worried, but scared of what you were doing to yourself. You barely ate now and she knew that you hardly ever sleep to begin with. Sooner or later your body might just as well shut down. She could only imagine the toll it has been taking on you.

The state of your room came as no surprise to her as it was always a bit messy. You preferred it that way, 'organized chaos' was what you once called it. What did come as an oddity was how unresponsive you were, even to her calls. Instead, the Katsuki matriarch saw you there sitting on the floor by the foot of your bed staring blankly at the screen of your phone, the only light illuminating the room. Your form was hunched over and your device was nearly slipping out of your fingers. You looked to be in a state of shock and it was as if you still didn't realize that she was in your room.

Her heart reached out to you. She couldn't bare the thought to see someone that she cares for deeply to be in such anguish.

She slowly made her way into your room with a tray of food in her arms, careful as to not make a sound. Once inside, she placed the tray on your bedside table. The utensils clattered a bit causing you to look up from your blank stupor.

She gave you a sympathetic smile only for you to turn away. It didn't escape her attention that your now dull, (e/c) eyes were now glistening.

"May I sit down?" She asked, gesturing to the foot of the bed, trying to get as close to you as possible but at the same time, trying not to overstep her bounds.

You didn't answer immediately but you simply nodded soon after. She smiled warmly at that and sat down next to you, the bed made a small creaking sound.

Neither of you spoke. Your phone's screen had long since gone dark, plunging your room into darkness. The only light now came from outside the hall since your door was slightly ajar. Neither of you minded.

You didn't really mind the older woman's presence in your room and you did not even think about sending her away. You knew Hiroko and she always had your best interest in heart. In fact, you found her being with you to be rather comforting and warm.

Ever since you have been acquainted with the Katsuki's you first gravitated towards Hiroko because of this certain 'calmness' that she always seem to bring.The woman had such a kind soul. She also was a whiz in the kitchen so that was a plus too.

She soon placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. You flinched at her touch. You quickly regretted doing so as you saw a shift in her reaction as she retracted her hand.

"Would you like to join us down stairs?" Her voice was as gentle as her touch.

Your eyes widened at her simple question and you stiffly shook your head. You did not want to go down there. You did not want to face all their questioning stares.

She had expected as much but she didn't push you to explain yourself. She was certain that you would tell her in due time.

"We miss you, (Y/N)," she started slowly, "You do know that we worry for you..."

For the briefest of moments, you felt your temper flare. It wasn't enough to lash out but it was enough for your expression to change from 'indifferent' to 'slightly irritated'. You were not mad at Hiroko for stating that they were concerned, you just saw that their concern...was oddly misplaced.What were you supposed to say to that? That you were 'sorry'? They shouldn't worry about you too much to begin with.

Why were you the one who was supposed to reassure them? It was an ugly thought and you nipped it right at the bud and clamped your mouth shut before you could say something that you might regret. Hiroko is one one of the kindest persons you ever know and you would be damned if you speak an ill word to her.

You took a deep breath as you slowly came up with a response, "I...I know..."

It was silent again after that.

You knew that they were worried. They had made it clear to you. He has made that clear to you and painfully so...but the thing is...you did not ask them to be worried. You could not fathom why could they not let you be.

You licked your lips, finding that your mouth suddenly felt incredibly dry, "I'm...I'm okay..." Your voice was nearly inaudible but your words cut through.

It was a lie but it was a lie that had to be said. You weren't trying to convince her. You were trying to convince yourself.

You couldn't see the look on the older woman's face as you were staring straight ahead of you, but you felt a shift in her movement.

"You are."

Your eyes widened. Two simple words was all it took. It wasn't sarcastic or patronizing, you could hear the seriousness of her voice. Two simple words and you felt your shoulders sag. You did not realize just how much you needed someone to verbalize it, to actually agree with you.

You will be okay.

For the longest time you have been the only one telling yourself that. The foundation and defenses that you had carefully put up has slowly been crumbling. You believed that you have been telling yourself a lie but to have someone else say it without a hint of doubt astonished you. Hiroko's words had fortified you.

You turned your head to see her give you a warm smile.

You made a muffled sound which was actually you trying to choke down a sob. You covered your eyes and you felt her arms around you. You let her. You hadn't realized how much you had needed this.

She didn't say another word and neither did you. You just focused on breathing as your silent tears dripped down your chin. The food on the tray she had brought in had long since gone cold.

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