All About Us [Yuri Katsuki x Reader]

90 - Say something

*

You felt like an idiot, staring at the door to your shared hotel room for - you checked your wrist watch - the past three minutes now. You did not know why you could not bring yourself to go in. You had every right to do so but for some reason, you can't.

You have spent half the day with Phichit, talking about anything and everything with the Thai skater. Admittedly, it was fun but you felt that your heart wasn't really into it. In the end, it was the younger skater that did most of the talking and you ended up listening to his animated tales.

You just wanted for this whole competition to end already. You could feel your desire to participate ebb away with each passing moment.

The only reason you had such a firm desire to be a part of this was because...

...Was because you wanted to stand by him no matter what. You made a promise to yourself that you would and you would be damned if you did not hold to your end of the deal.

But you know what they say about promises...

Promises are meant to be broken. They are worse than lies. They make you hope, hope for something that you are no longer sure if it is even there.

You felt like you were fooling yourself.

This was beginning to irk you. It was just a stupid door. This was getting ridiculous.

Composing yourself, you fiddled for the keys and entered the room, the click of the door opening could be heard.

"Hey," you called out softly, "The event's about to start and you if you guys aren't up yet, I'll-"

Your words died in your throat.

You stood there, eyes wide and your heart constricting painfully in your chest, threatening to stop beating all together.

The thought of seeing the two of them, two of the people you trust the most being so...close together honestly made you want to throw up.

You did not feel anger bubble up like you expected to. Instead, you felt...numb.

You willed yourself to step closer to the bed that they were on. They probably didn't hear you.

Victor was lying on top of Yuri. He was so close to him.

He was so close...

You shut your eyes. Your fists clenched until your knuckles turned white. You took a deep breath and exhaled.

You were better than this.

You approached the bed and nudged the two of them awake, "The event is about to start...you two better get ready." You hated the sound of your voice. It sounded so small, a stark contrast to your usual brazen self. It was pathetic.

Yuri was the first to stir. Although you could tell that he wasn't really asleep, he was just lying still. He carefully slipped off his sleeping mask.

Your breathing hitched. He was awake and knew full well that Victor was on top of him...and he didn't do a thing.

You weren't sure what hurt more, the fact that Yuri didn't do anything or the fact that it was as if he didn't seem to mind it at all. Either way it was excruciatingly painful.

You felt the beginnings of waterworks in your eyes as they moistened in frustration.

You willed them away.

'It's a sad thing', you thought to yourself. You were slowly starting to get used to the pain.

"...(Y/N)?" He muttered, his voice was a bit raspy.

"You two better hurry," your tone was even, your stare blank.

His face flushed red as he realized the position he and his coach was in. He abruptly stood up causing the sleeping silverette on top of him to land ungracefully to the carpeted floor with a loud thump.

"Yuri..." Victor whined, "You're so mean pushing me off like that."

His eyes widened, his expression frantic, "I didn't mean to, I'm s-sorry!"

"Oi!" Your voice was rising in tone, "You two better hurry up or I'm leaving with or without you."

Your choice of words struck you as a bit odd. You turned away from their questioning stares. You figured it would be better if you just left. You really did not feel like lashing out...you had other things, better to worry about than your aching heart.

For now, it would be best if you just focused on the competition.

You wanted to speak up so bad, but you decided against it. This was not the time for it.

Yuri watched your retreating form, astonished at the sudden turn of events. You left them just as soon as you came. You said you would be waiting at the stadium.

He had never seen you act this way before so he had absolutely no idea what to do.

He pulled off the duvet from his body and proceeded to put on his clothes, all the while his thoughts were of you and what was going through your mind right now.

He felt queasy all of a sudden. There was just too much, too much going on that he was at a loss. He could not get his mind straight. Victor was getting ready to leave as well, he looked unperturbed by the spike of your anger.

As he slipped on his shoes, he felt it. The worry and his anxiety washed over him in waves.

What if...

No.

You were upset with him, he was sure of it. If you weren't, you wouldn't have acted the way you did.

He was scared, terrified even...his only wish was that you were there to tell him what to do. You always knew the right words to say when he was feeling this way, you always knew how to cheer him up.

Meanwhile as you were making your way to the stadium, you made a beeline for the rest room, far away from prying eyes.

You were glad that it was empty as you locked the door from the inside.

You looked at yourself in the mirror. Your (e/c) were dull but they were wet with tears. You muttered a string of curses to yourself, furiously wiping them away.

You hated that you were feeling this way. You hate it, you hate it, you hate it!

You slammed your fists on the sink. It stung but you didn't care. You continuously repeated the action until your hands were red and sore.

What Victor and Yuri did might not have been intentional but it still ate at you.

You felt light headed. All of your thoughts were a complete and utter mess.

You wanted the pain to stop...because nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the people you thought would never hurt you in the first place.

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*I was listening to this song when writing this chapter thus the title ^^