95 - Drowning

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You wiped the tears off your face as you walked. You stuffed your hands in your pockets, trying to gain a semblance of warmth. Your breath was fogging up due to the chilly night air. You figured you looked like a total wreck right now. Your tousled hair, your puffy eyes, your flushed cheeks, your runny nose...everything about the way you looked screamed 'devastated'.

It really couldn't be helped though. It came as a surprise to you that you were even able to wander around unknown streets much less get up from your crouched position earlier. It probably wasn't the best idea to leave the stadium without notifying anyone about your whereabouts. You certainly did not know the language and you also were not that good with directions. You didn't care though.

If worse came to worst, you would just end up going in circles, lost in one of the largest cities in the world, without a phone and without a dollar to your name.

You didn't care though. It did not seem so bad as your brain made it out to be.

You were hallow, empty.

Your mind went back to before this, before you felt this horrible pain that would not seem to go away.

You love him, you really do. You always will. He might not have been thinking the same way as you thought he was but nothing would change the fact that you did, you are.

Then there was the logical side of you...

Maybe...just maybe...You have been in love, not with him but with his words, with his touch, with his smile. You were in love with the way that he would know what to say even with all his insecurities, his healing touch, the way he patiently listens and never judges. You were in love with the pointless conversations you had that span from dusk till dawn, you were in love with how he needed you just as much as you needed him. Maybe you were in love with the idea of being in love that your vision has been clouded to the fact that you could never even hope to compare to Victor. He was the one that Yuri had looked up to way before he met you. He was perfect in every way while you...you were just you. Broken and toyed with that was what you were.

"You're not going to let go right?" You asked as you held onto his hand. The two of you were alone in the rink.

It was your first time skating and despite the brave front that you boldly showed earlier, it was gone in a flash once you stepped foot in the ice. You were instantly regretting having asked the dark haired, bespectacled boy in front of you to teach you how to skate in the first place.

"I've got you, don't worry," he said as he eased you in further into the rink.

Your eyes widened. You were going further and further away from the exit, further away from the skirting. You had nothing to hold onto to keep you upright.

"Wait a second! Let's g-go back," you turned your head, yearning to go back to solid ground, solid ground that was not as slippery. It was a mistake on your part. Because of your sudden movement, you almost slipped, your head threatening to come in contact with the ice cold surface.

"Woah! Be careful!" Yuri grabbed your arm and saved you from your impending fall.

"What the hell?! I thought you said you wouldn't let go!" you bit off.

"I'm s-sorry," he apologized feebly, "But hey, you could stand without holding onto me now."

You blinked. The dark haired skater was at least a foot away from you now and you were indeed standing on your own. Your legs still felt like it would give way any second but you were not slipping over just yet. You let out an amazed laugh and Yuri joined in. You felt great, you felt accomplished.

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