All About Us [Yuri Katsuki x Reader]

101 - Here's to hoping

It was as if time froze. You had no idea what would happen next and you had a feeling that you did not want to. You were too scared to find out. Maybe coming here was a bad idea. Maybe this was one of those times where you jumped the gun and did not think things through. You were frozen in your spot just as she was, too scared to even move. You did not even know exactly what you were scared of to begin with. You just had this horrible feeling, a feeling of dread and anxiety mixed together making your vision swim.

She slowly made her way towards you, disregarding the irreparable ceramic mess that lay at her feet. It  was if any sudden move would cause you to disappear. It has been years since you have last seen each other, it has been far too long since you have both heard each other's voice. She reached her hand out causing you to involuntarily flinch, you were waiting for the inevitable impact of her hand striking you. It never came.

She was shaking, trembling even. She hesitated and instead looked away from you. 

"Mom..."

She faced you this time, a small smile adorned her worn features. It has been years since you have last seen each other and you could tell that she has faced hard times. It placed things into perspective. 

So have you.

Her lip quivered as her eyes glistened with tears threatening to spill over. You did not know what to do. You saw how she steeled her resolve to face you. The thing that she did next surprised you.

"I'm so sorry."

Three little words that held so much power. You swore that your heart skipped a beat. Never in a million years would you have expected her to say those things to you. You felt a lump in your throat that you could not swallow. She was one of the last people you would have ever expected to say that to you which is why it broke your heart even more to even hear it.

You don't remember much from your early childhood but you remembered bits and pieces. When you did something wrong, you get punished and you would ask for forgiveness. Saying the magic word, saying 'sorry' seemed to fix everything. When you were a kid, the word held no weight at all. It was just a word that if  you repetitively say long enough, would allow you to get away with mischief most of the time.

You figured that in time, things would just blow over and you hoped that everything would be okay again, like nothing ever happened in the first place.

Look where that got you.

It turns out, time does not heal anything. It just teaches you how to live with yourself, to live with the pain. And soon enough, you were used to it. You were used to getting all your hopes dashed because you were far too naive to face the music, to face reality. So you did the next best thing and ran. That was what you were good at. That was what you were doing now.

You did not deserve any of this.

"Please...mom," you pleaded, your voice was barely above a whisper. You still had no idea what to do. She held her head down low, not looking at you. You gently placed your hands on her shoulders, trying to get her to look up, "Don't...You don't need to..."

She did the opposite and took it a step further, not heading your pleas. She bent even lower into a kowtow position.

"Please (Y/N), please let me do this..." she said, her voice muffled, "If I couldn't do this much...to ask for forgiveness from my child..."

You knelt down and covered your mouth, trying to muffle the sound of a sob. You shook your head. You did not want to hear this from her.

"I'm so sorry..." You could hear her crying now.  "I know that you hate me...but please, please allow me to say this much. I am sorry for only mustering up the courage to tell you this now. I know, that what we did is unforgivable. You felt neglected and alone for so long and your father and I thought that working was far more important because everything we...no- everything I did, I know was for you..." she took a shuddering breath, "I just hadn't realize just how much we have cast you aside..."