All About Us [Yuri Katsuki x Reader]

112 - White noise

Your hand slipped away from his but he made no move to stop you. You were looking down at the cold, slippery surface. You knew that your eyes would betray you if you looked at him. Instead, you took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself. You tried to steady the beating of your heart. When you finally looked up, you had already steeled your resolve and took a step back. Seeming to know what you were about to do, he just opted to stand there and watch.

The ice was slick and well-worn. Your steps were still a bit wobbly. Damon tried to glide towards you, to steady you by grabbing on to your elbow. The look of apprehension in his face was clear but it did not suit him. You could almost imagine what he was thinking. But you raised a hand to stop him. From another person's perspective it might seem impossible. Taking that first step from dry ground to slick ice seemed like such an absurd idea. It seemed impossible for two, thin blades of metal to support you.

The cold bit into your skin yet your cheeks felt warm despite the temperature. You wanted to say that you were fine but you weren't really so you chose to stay quiet. Your legs quivered beneath you. There was a sharp slicing sound of skates carving through the ice as you went.You needed to relearn how to stand on your own two feet again and in ice skating, that meant everything. 

You needed to relearn to stand on your own which is already a hard enough task to begin with.

During that brief moment, something snapped into place within you. You have never felt more certain in your entire life. Recently, you had done nothing but doubted yourself but now that you felt a resurgence of a semblance of your previous confidence, it felt foreign, it felt new. You skated to the center of the rink, ignoring the fact that you were not the only one in it. None of the other skaters paid you any attention, too absorbed in doing their own thing. You only had one pair of eyes on you but you drowned that out too. It was just you, there was only you.

You felt as if you had just come back home. 

You poised yourself in a starting position, a million things running through your head withing the few seconds that lapsed as you waited. You were going to skate again and yet you had no concept. You did not see the judges, you did not see the spectators. You were your own judge. You were just this one person on the ice and everyone else faded away like it was meant to be from the very beginning. 

It was frustrating as you tried to get the feel of the ice again. It hasn't been that long since you have last skated but it felt like a lifetime ago. There is something powerful about the challenge of going past not only your physical limits, but the emotions of Adrenalin, stress, nerves and pressure. It was draining but at the same time rewarding. This was your life now. 

Your body began to move as if it had a will of its own, it was moving to the music that only you could hear. Though your expression remained rather blank, your stomach was churning, doing flips and your heart was beating so fast you were afraid that it would explode. Your movements were instinctive and fluid. Your mind was telling you what to do without your consent. 

There is a separate world that only skaters can skaters can understand. It doesn't seem to matter what country you live in, what language you speak, only fellow skaters could understand you on a level that most people can't. Skating was a language that not everyone could understand. Your companion watched you in silence as you moved. It was a stark contrast to your bumbling form earlier. The moment you had began, you were already lost in the rhythmic percussion of your mind's orchestra. Your eyes were steady and began to bear the semblance of a smile on your face. You were slowly shedding your doubts away. You had surprised him when you threw in a triple Salchow and shakily stuck to the landing.

And why wouldn't you? It was only on the ice where you felt the strongest as the cold rushes across your face. When you feel the ice rush beneath your feet, you feel powerful, in control and light. Each jump you did, you could touch the clouds. Each spin erased all worries. It felt like second nature to be here. It was almost as easy as breathing. You missed this feeling when you felt like you could soar. Being on the ice filled you with a sense of euphoria. It was a boundless, frozen canvas with limitless possibilities. It was where you etch your identity and worries are soon swept away, a home that travels to where ice exists. For a little while, it felt that way but you felt something shift as the rush died down. The music began to slow into a downbeat tempo.