Secret Love Nest

Friends pt 2

I woke up the next day in Meng's bed with Xiao holding on to my waist. I have a headache and a brain full of memories of what happened the night before.

Me: (sitting up slowly) (throwing Xiao's arm away from me) Shit! Did I just confessed to you guys last night?

Meng: (disgustingly awake with mug in hand) It's like it's your come out party YuYu.

Me: (could have glared at him but a hammer is pouding my brain) Fuck you...

Meng: No...you wanna fuck him. What's his name again?

Me: Wang Qing.

Meng: Wang Qing, yeah I remember it now. You called his name a lot by the way "Qing ge, Qing ah!". While we were putting you to bed.

Me: God I hate your ability to remember stuffs even if we are drunk.

Meng: (laughing) We are the same in that way. Xiao is the one with the amnesia when he drinks.

Me: (sighing and looking at our still asleep friend) I envy him.

Meng: (ruffle my head) Wake him up. Let's have breakfast and you both should be gone before my parents and sisters come back from visiting our relatives. You know my sister, she has a crush on you.

Me: (kicking Xioa) Still?

Meng: Yeah, still. Should I tell her you are gay now?

Me: I am not gay.

Meng: (seriously nodding) That's true. You just wanna bang a man.

Me: (this time I glared at him) F.U.C.K. You...

Meng just laugh then left his room. I kick Xiao again until he scrambled off the bed saying he is already awake.

I use the bathroom first before going out. I helped Meng clean up the empty bottles and righting their living room. With Xiao, we went to the kitchen to eat bread and anything Meng found in their fridge to fry. That's the limit of his cooking skill, frying food.

While eating I noticed that no one is talking so I looked up. I saw both of my friends giving each other looks ang nudges like little kids edging each other to enter the haunted house first.

Me: (can't help feeling irritated) What?! Just say it!

Xiao: (smacking Meng in the head. Ouch!) See?! You are making Dayu angry. Jusy spit it out!

Meng: (giving Xiao a stinky stare then turn to me) What are your plans now?

Me: (confuse) About what?

Xiao: (can't help joining the conversation) About that guy you like.

Me: (shrugging) Nothing. What should I do? We are both male. What do I know about being with another guy?

Meng: That's why we have internet. There's always gay porn.

Xiao and I choked at the same time. Xiao even sprayed fried egg on the table.

Xiao: (still coughing) Shit man! A little warning next time.

Me: (paling a little) G-gay porn?

Meng: (sneering) Stop acting like a pair of prudish old maids. I was with the two of you when we watch our first, second, twentieth porn together. Gay porn is there for a reason.

Me: Have you watch gay porn?

Meng: No. I'm straight. I've watched lesbian porn though...

Xioa: (raise his hand) Me too!

I did too. Oh God what does that mean for me, having similarities with these two idiots.

Me: (shaking my head) No gay porn. I won't do anything about this...whatever this thing is with Wang Qing.

I feel my chest constricting while saying those words but I ignored it. Meng and Xiao look at each other. They both sighed.

Xiao: YuYu, honestly, I think you should go for it.

I blinked at him. Can't even say anything at first.

Me: (finally recovering) I don't...it's not...(sigh) I think I just got crazy there for a second. Considering a relationship with another guy. I mean, what the hell right?

I laugh but they didn't join me. My friends look at me, like really look at me like I am an open book and they are now on the page where they found the main lead lost while the way is just in front of him.

Me: (look down to avoid their stares) I don't think I can...

Meng: Dayu, do you remember the last time you call a girl's name while you are drunk?

I frown, trying to remember.

Xiao: No would be the answer you are looking for. Damn it YuYu, this guy had you wind up so tight you are chanting his name last night.

Meng: And you even want to call him so he can pick you up cause you wanna see his face so bad. I mean Dayu, that was the first time I saw you like that.

I blushed. Of course I remember what they are talking about. That's a curse you know, retaining the memories of what you did when you are drunk. Who said getting drunk can help you forget...bullshit!

Meng: (shrugging) You don't think you can be with him? That's fine. I get that. I can understand. If that is what you want to do then we will support you.

Xiao: But you just can't disregard what you feel for this guy that easily. That would be wrong man, cause you DO have feelings for this man.

Meng: (nodding) Lots of feelings man...

Me: (running my hand through my hair, sighing heavenward) Argh!!!

Xiao: Are you sure you won't regret it? Cause that's what I am afraid of, that you will regret something...

Me: (looking at them both) You guys think I will regret it...if I don't give it try?

Meng: Honestly, I don't know. We are best friends but we are not you Dayu. You are the only one who can answer that question. I just want to say that you won't find judgement here...with me. Whatever you decided to do...I won't judge you man.

Xiao: Same here of course. And fuck you if you are scared because you think we will think less of you if you hook up with a guy. Fuck you twice man!

Me: (laughing at their angry faces) No, I don't think you guys are homophobic bigots...

Meng: (smiling) Good. Cause we are not. Speaking honestly, I always thought that if someone will turn gay between the three of us, it will be Xiao.

Xiao: Hey!

I laughed as Xiao tried to shove a piece of bread on Meng's nose.

Xiao: (glaring at Meng) And here I thought YOU are already gay!

I laughed again as they shove and kick each other and their chairs. Then they stop to smile at me.

Meng: Think about it some more. No need to make hasty decisions Dayu. Just go with what can make you happy. Cause that is what we want for you.

Xiao: He's right. You are a great guy Dayu. A good friend. You always want and wish happiness for the people around you. You are disgustingly nice that way. So why not want and wish happiness for yourself? You, most of all, deserve that.

I banged my forehead on the table. Tears running on my face. These are my friends. They are really the worst people in my life. They will encourage me to be selfish and jump off a cliff even if I don't know if it's calm water or a rocky bed is waiting for me at the bottom. What's more? They do that cause they know they will jump with me.

I cry and laugh when I heard them fighting over the last piece of bread. They have no intention of giving it to me, their crying best friend.

Shit I really love them.