Secret Love Nest

Temple Visit

I am sleepy. I feel sleepy. I want to sleep more.

But the constant chanting of the monks and the strong smell of incenses kept reminding me that I won't be blessed if I sleep in the floor of this temple.

Or worse, my prayers won't come true if I succumb to the urges of closing my eyes and snore the day away.

But for goodness' sake, Qing's mom, aunt and sister dragged me from our home at 3am in the morning just to travel to what to me looks like the oldest temple existed so we can pray.

I looked around the grand prayer hall. It does look old but it was well maintained. Too well maintained in my thinking. The walls and the pillars showcased a master woodwork's job. The images painted in the walls are exquisite. 

Outside the main praying hall, the grounds are clean, the trees and plants around look well taken care of. I wonder if this temple recieves a lot of visitors and donations cause to maintain this kind of place can be costly.

We had breakfast with the monks. Their fare might be simple (honestly a little bland to my taste) but after eating I realized that the meal gave me a full but light, refreshed feeling.

After breakfast, Qing's mom and I decided to walk around the ground of the temple. While Qing's sister and aunt stayed behind to pray some more.

(Whatever the two of them are praying about, they must be passionate about it.)

Greens all around us. Early birds chirping in the background. The wonderful feeling of walking in this kind of spiritual and peaceful surroundings makes me less grumpy about the fact that I had to leave the bed early.

Qing's mom: (walking beside me while her arm is loped to mine) The Wangs always pray in this temple. Our family has a deep history with this place. We pray here if we really wanted something to come true for our family. It's almost guaranteed. My mother in law told me that, of course she heard it from her own mother in law. And I experienced it myself.

Me: I see...

Qing's mom: Dayu, the women on this family kept that tight relationship we had to this temple. You can't expect the men of this family to take some time away from their businesses to pray? No...it will be up to the women to pray for them and their safety and souls.

I blinked several times as I process that on my head.

Me: But Ma, I am not exactly a woman...

Qing's mom: (looking at me) It will not matter Dayu. Qing is cut from the same cloth like his father, uncle and his other male cousins. He will only pray at temples like this when he is remembering his ancestors. But to wake up early to pray for prosperity and continued health, they won't do that. So it will be up to you to do this job for Qing.

Me: (nodding slowly) I understand Ma...

Qing's mom: (smiling, satisfied) I will admit that teaching you would be much easier if you are a girl. But alas, Qing knew his heart and he knew who he wants. It's you. So I am afraid that it will fall on your shoulders to learn my job.

Me: (cringing) I...am not so sure...

Qing's mom: I use to worry, you know. When Qing came to us and told us who he wants and need, I cried myself until I got sick. Qing didn't know this...

Oh...I get it now. Qing's mom and I, we are having a heart to heart moment. My face heated up. I think more than praying at this temple, Qing's mom wanted to talk to me alone and without her son standing close by. Guarding.

Me: (looking down) I am sorry to hear that you got sick with worrying Ma...

She smiled with the refreshing breeze of the morning swirling around us as the sun slowly show up to shine the world.

Qing's mom: What kind of mother won't worry when her son told her that he would take the unconventional road to love? But I quickly braced myself and stood strong. I thought, if I won't be strong, how can Qing ah lean on me if his father opposes our son's decision?

I felt tears started to form on my eyes. I shook my head to stop myself from being emotional.

How brave is Qing's mother, to set her own feelings aside just for Qing? Is my mom the same? Did she also put herself aside to give in to me and my love?

Qing's mom: Good thing Qing's father doesn't make a fuss too. I think because we knew Qing will not change his mind and heart just to please us. He is our son, we raised him to know his own mind and heart and to follow them. But then, the worry never seize when you are a mother. I prayed in this temple, for Qing to find whoever will make him happy. I prayed hard as my worry was too big.

Me: (nodding) He never meant to worry you Ma...

Qing's mom: (stopped walking to look at me) I know. But I am not worried anymore. Do you know why Dayu?

I shook my head...

Qing's mom: Because you came to Qing's life. I stopped worrying the moment Qing took you home and present you to us. I stopped worrying the moment I saw how Qing looks at you, how you look at my son.

I blushed again. Remembering that one afternoon when Qing brought me to the mansion to meet his family for the first time. I think Qing's mom is remembering that day very differently from me.

I remembered fumbling that day. I was awkward, silent, shy and had no idea whatsoever of what I am doing there. Only Qing's hand holding mine prevent me from making a total fool of myself.

Qing's mom: When I saw you looking at him, I said to myself, here is someone whose feeling is surpassing my feelings for my son. You look so sure of Qing. The way you hold on to him. The way you smile at him when you think no one is looking. I saw someone who will be with my son all through his life. So I stopped worrying.

Me: Ma...

I don't know what to say. I don't know what feeling will dominate my body. I feel happy and shy to be discovered and thankful at what she is saying.

Qing's mom: (caressing my cheek) And a while ago, I watched you pray. I feel so happy Dayu. I saw how you pray for yourself, you bowed your head, twined your hands together with a smooth look on your face. But then I saw how you pray for Qing. You are rigid, your hands clasped together on your chest, your face wrinkling a little, like you are projecting your prayers really hard so all the gods can hear you. I knew, you are praying for my son because that's how I look when I pray for Qing and his dad.

I duck my head, wanting the ground to open up to swallow me.

She saw that? How embarassing?!

Qing's mom: (taking my hand) You hated waking up early to pray, right? But instead of saying no, you got up and came with us. I know you are under a lot of pressure to be liked by Qing's family but Dayu, you can always say no or make excuses, but you never did. Because when we welcomed you to the family, you also welcomed us into your heart. You let yourself be part of this family, and for that, I will always be thankful.

Me: (in a little voice) I should be the one who should be thankful...

Qing's mom: (squeezing my hand) Loving a Wang and being a part of this family is no walk in the park Dayu. I sometimes want to clobber my husband and children, stubborn lot they are. But if you are willing, I will teach you everything my mother in law taught me, that she got from her mother in law and so on and so forth. It takes a special talent to be with someone like Qing. A lot of patience and love of course. If you are willing, I will teach you all I know.

I looked at her. This regal woman. The mother of the man I love. She looks at me with affection in her eyes. It's overwhelming, to be liked by her.

I nodded. She smiled happily. She patted my hand and we continued walking.

That day, I was the one that presented the Wang's offering for the temple. I was also the one that passed the generous donation of the family to the head monk.

A job that the wife of a Wang do.