Secret Love Nest

Health Buff

I am gorging on junk food.

Salty potato chips, sweet choco chips cookies, brownies with nuts (cause everything is better with nuts), nacho chips swimming in salsa and cheese and chugging soda pops.

My health warden is away so the naughty squirrel is committing a crime against diet.

I love Qing. I do. But he wants us to stay eating di san tian with tofu, yogurt milk instead of real milk and rabbit food aka salad plus grilled lean meat and steamed tasteless fish.

I mean, I totally adore the man and I love that he wants us to be healthy so we can live together in love for the next two hundred years but really...

My taste buds need salt and sugar or it will shriveled and die. I am not exaggerating.

So today is my cheat day. Okay, I will be honest, as we always want to remain truthful to each other, this here is my second cheat day, but shhhh to Qing. Okay?

(Hey! Why are you all packing and leaving?! What? I am on my own? Wow! Way to go guys...are you all afraid of your Baba?! Me? Am I afraid of Qing? Of course...I am! But what Qing don't know won't hurt him so...)

I crammed more potato chips on my mouth as I watch a funny video on my laptop. At least I am not eating in our bed because I hate crumbs on my expensive Egyptian cotton comforter.

I was about to swig a mouthful of soda pop when I heard the door code being punched from the outside and the front suddenly opened.

Qing: Love! I'm home!

SH*T!!! Why is he home?! Oh no!

I quickly gathered the plastic wrappers and empty soda cans but I was not fast enough. One disapproving sound came from behind me and I turn around, hugging the contrabands, and smiled awkwardly at Qing.

Qing: I see...

Yes he saw. He saw everything. How I desperately tried sweeping all the evidences from the top of the center table to hug and to dispose them. And he also saw how I failed to do that.

Me: (dumping all the trash in my arms to the floor) Welcome home!

I walked to hug him but Qing captured my neck under my chin to tilt my head up. His thumb swiped on the corner of my lips to clean the cookie crumbs from there.

Me: (tried smiling) Today is cheat day.

Qing: I think you have cheated enough to last the whole year. How many bags of chips did you consumed in the last three days of your cheating?

He left the house for Shanghai three days ago.

Me: Three days? I just started cheating yesterday.

Qing: How many? How many times have you cheated on me?

Me: (counting) Eight times if you won't count the full cream milk on my cereals. Then it's twelve times...

Qing: I will count that milk on your preservatives filled cereal. Twelve it is. Drop! Give me twelve!

Push ups! I hate it.

Me: (hugging him tight. Burying my face on his chest) I can't! I just had two cans of soda pop. I will vomit if I do push ups. You have to wait until tomorrow.

Qing: (breathing deeply) This will stay in my mind for a long, long time. How you chose two cans of soda pop over our six years of relationship. Let me go. You disgust me!