Secret Love Nest

Paris Bound

I went home to a pile of mails. Personal mails that is.

I usually received fan mails but restore them on the company building. I read them, smile and sometimes laugh. I swear, fans can be sweet, a little creepy and wonderful all at the same time. Okay listen to this, one fan wrote this letter to me and I will quote it. She, a girl wrote to me. I won't disclose her name of course. It's our privacy.

"Dear Dayu, Saw you in a cafe a few days ago. I was too scared and shy to talk to you or even approach you so I content myself in hiding myself on my seat and watch you as you order your drink. I stared at you for so long I can name all the accessories you have. That's a cute braided bracelet by the way."

She is...I don't know. She is sweet. Why be scrared. I won't bite you. I promise.

Too shy? Oh you are so cute I want to hug you. Don't be shy. I always want to tell this to my fans. I am proud of all of you. Please be proud of me too. Please be proud of liking me, even if I am lacking in so many ways.

I promise to work harder so all of you will be proud to be called my fans or friends.

But this letter just proved how hard it is to be a fan. She is too scared and shy. I hope I can meet her and assure her that she doesn't need to be scared or shy around me. Me? Awkward me? I am also scared and shy most of the time but sometimes we have to have courage to do things our heart tells us to do because we never knew, it might lead to something special.

So I hope next time, this is a shout out to all my fans, if you see me, come closer and at least say hi. If I look out of sort or not in the mood, I am sorry, maybe I only had one pack of gummy bears that day or Qing denied me sex, I don't know. But I promise you that I am happy to see my fans. I'm sorry if I cannot approach you first to say hi to you my own because I am afraid to do that and realize you are not a fan at all.

Imagine this, I saw a person standing there, I wouldn't know if he or she is a fan of mine, unless he or she is wearing a shirt saying "I love Feng Jian Yu". That will be a dead giveaway and I will be happy to shake that person's hand and say hi..

But imagine how creepy it is and how embarassing it will be if for example, I approach a person and say hi and assume that that person is my fan and then it turns out that he or she doesn't even know me.

How mortifying will that be? I could die from that.

So...in conclusion, I am so sorry to say this, but if you like me and you are a fan of mine, you have to approach me. Because I can't do that because of the reasons listed above. Or at least give me a signal so I will know you are a fan of mine so I can approach you and say hi. Maybe I should invent a secret signal for us. Something only me and my fans will know. How cool would that be? Right? Like a secret handshake?

Hmmm...my mind is wandering again.

I don't assume. I don't even think I am a notable star yet. I still feel like a newbie feeling my way into this industry. Trying to work as hard as I can for my talents to be recognize. The fans I have now, I treasure. I am proud of my fans. I hope to make my fans proud. Let's be proud of one another.

Okay?

So...what else. Oh, the stack of mails we have in our home. It looks like I will have a word with my resident boyfriend and lover again. He lets the mails stacked up without checking them. What a slob.

He is out of the house. Qing. He is shooting an MV. I cannot disclose it yet. It's his so I will respect his work and let him unveil it for his fans.