Secret Love Nest

Childhood

It's worldwide Children's Day. Happy Children's Day everybody.

To commemorate this day, I posted a photo of grumpy me when I was young. I was sitting is some wooden rail while pouting on the camera. I don't remember when that photo was taken or who took the photo. My parents can't remember too. That was I think, over two decades ago so...all our memories are faulty.

Anyway, I posted that old photo and at the same time posted a newer version of the same pose. I look ridiculous. Trying to imitate myself. But what a throwback, right?

I like children. I have little cousins. Younger than me. And when we have our huge Feng family reunion, I see them. I remember babysitting for my uncles and aunties before. They will pay me penance and sometimes candy for looking after my younger cousins for a few hours while they are busy cooking or they went to the market to shop.

It was fun. I made sure my younger cousins had a fun few hours with me. We play, watch TV, eat snack. Sometimes when it's raining, I will even let my younger cousins go out and we will get showered by rain.

I had a happy childhood back in Heilongjiang.

I am a provincial hick. I know. When I first came to Beijing, I know people look down at me because I look provincial. With sun kissed skin, lame hairstyle and an accent. That was okay because I secretly laugh at them as well. They look sickly and weak for me.

I am a strong boy while growing up. I rarely got sick. I am not like one of those city boys who spent their time playing video games or cuddled in their home. (Yes, I am talking about Wang Qing and his overpriviledge life that he will not apologize for. And he should not apologize. It's not his fault if he was born in a rich family. Like it's no one's fault if you are born in a poor family. Where you begin is not important. What's important is how you will finish the race. How hardworking you will be to finish the race.)

Anyways, back to my childhood. I am used to roaming around. Walking and riding a bicycle to get to school. Having weekends with friends where we will go to a nearby river to splash around and look for little fishes. As long as it's summer and not winter. Rivers and lakes froze up in Heilongjiang.

I get to play tag with my friends. Run around. Play in the rain. Climb trees. Jump on train tracks. Stay out late when the moon is full. Sleep on a grassy hill when the sun is up and the breeze is blowing.

I have a typical but happy childhood. I am proud of that. Why? Because I know kids today don't have that. They are busy with their gadgets, going to the mall and plastering their faces in arcade games or their laptop and desktop while playing the lastest video game out in the market.

I mean, not all kids, but most of them have that kind of childhood now.

I am proud of my happy childhood because I know not everyone had a happy childhood like mine. This might sound insensitive or boastful to other people but I am proud that my parents provided me with a happy home and a happy childhood. I am proud of my parents. Not all parents are good parents, I know that now. Before, when I was young, I thought all parents are like mine or like Meng's parents or Xiao's parents. Together and loving.

But as I grew up, I learn that this beautiful world has a darker side. That there's another side of the sunny spectrum. A lot of children got abused. Sometimes, and this is the saddest part, by those people who should be protecting them and providing them a happy childhood.

It's fucked up. I know. And it breaks my heart when I will hear or read news about children getting abandoned, getting sexuality assulted, experiencing physical and mental abuse. Getting starved. They are little kids! Fuck!