Secret Love Nest

Writer's Block

Hello, Dayu here again. Wait, what?!

(Scowling) No! Stop looking for Wang Qing he will never take my laptop again with him. And besides, those parts he wrote gave him headaches. Writing is not his thing.

Qing: It's a Dayu thing. How do you do it almost every week?

Me: Cause I am awesome that way! Bwahahahahaha

Qing: (sighed) I chose you...I CHOSE YOU!!!

He walked away after that.

So...I am back! How is everything? Are we all good? Mind, body and soul...

Anyways. Since I am back from a break from writing, I am now having some writing block.

Wonderful!

No really, I have no idea what to write here. My life had become so monotone these past weeks that if I write them, you will all think that I am a lazy son of a...and my creativity in writing is a fluke. Which could also be the case but we won't take it farther than that.

What? Oh, you guys still want to know about my monotone weeks? Oh all right. I am easy to convince. I will indulge all of you then...

So here was my schedule these past weeks.

Get up.
Take a shower.
Eat breakfast.
Go to my practice.
Lunch.
Practice some more.
Go home.
Lurk at Weibo.
Skip dinner.
Eat cereals instead.
Call Qing.
Take another shower.
Jerk off.
Sleep.

It shouldn't be confused with:

Get up.
Hit the shower.
Jerk off.
Skip breakfast.
Photoshoot.
Lunch.
Call my mother.
Go home.
Do some laundry.
Call Qing.
Hang up on Qing.
Thought of sending him a dick pic.
Thought better.
Eat dinner.
Take my vitamins that I missed doing the days before.
Take a shower.
Tried calling Qing again.
Whine at Qing.
Comforted by Qing.
Sleep.

See? My days are boring. So nothing really interesting to report about.

You guys just had a walk on memory lane with Qing. Me talking about the past will just bore us all to death.

So really, what should we talk about? To fill in this silence.

Are you guys the type of people that had to fill every silence? Like you can't take it if it's too quiet. I don't think I have a problem with silence. But I love music, one reason why I became a singer, that's why I love doing things while a music was playing.

Like dancing. Dancing needs music, well you can also dance without music but that's a little weird for me. Reading, writing, taking a shower, cooking, cleaning, while in the car, exercising, etc etc. Listening to music while doing these things made them much more fun.

But a quiet moment is not that bad too. Like when I went to that temple with the womenfolk in Qing's family. Walking along those temple paths with nothing but nature's sound around you is so soothing. It makes me think about where I am in my life right now. Just life in general.

I am twenty four. Got a job I love, privacy compromised but still, I love being a singer and an actor. I have a steady income doing what I love to do, that's a wonderful feeling right there. I know some people don't have jobs they love, some don't have job at all. So I am thankful for my job.

My parents are both alive and healthy. Which means I can give back all the love and care they have given me. With me earning enough, I can buy things for my parents as a way of thank you for raising me. Not all children gets to do that. There are some people out there who still depend on their parents (not really judging them, life happens). But as long as our parents are alive, let's appreciate them. Not just with giving them material things, but genuine love.

What else...oh I live in a beautiful home. Some people don't even have decent roof above their heads. That's why I love maintaining a clean and functional home. Not everybody are as lucky as me. Makes me thankful.

I eat what I want. Should I go on? Oh okay then. Don't waste food, people in some parts of the world are starving with lack of food. Appreaciate food, that's grace right there.

What else...oh my friends! Wonderful support system of course. That includes my manager, assistant and stylist. Qing's too. Friends are important, no man is an island something something. True friends should be treasured. You don't have to talk or see each other everyday, but remembering to call them once in a while, have drinks with them and just get wasted, that would be wonderful. Ask them about their life, update them with yours. Friends eh...

Of course there is Qing. Not a perfect boyfriend of course (I am the man without my laptop for three days, I have complaints) but I can't send him back to a factory and ask for a new one. He is not a gadget after all. But if my only complaints with him is his occasional highhandedness and his stubborness, I will take that as a win.

There are people out there who are not content with just one partner, cheaters are what we call them. Then there's the sadist abusive type who had to hurt other people either physically or emotionally or pyschologically (shudders) I will take a stubborn Qing over that a billion times.

Life eh...contemplate on them. I know we are all busy. Studying, working, earning money, socializing. But it doesn't hurt to take stock of your life from time to time. Evaluate yourself. Am I happy? Am I a good person? Did I hurt anyone? Did someone hurt me? Am I still hurting? Do I have to change something? Do I feel stuck? Should I travel? Get a cat or a dog? Join a charity? Conquer the world with my craziness?

Be quiet for a moment. Ask questions to yourself. You might think you know yourself but you don't know, you might surprise yourself too.

Or you can just forget everything I just said. You don't have to do what I said. You have a choice of course.

One last thing. Value yourself. You must know your own worth. And even if the whole world judge you harshly. Look at yourself with kindness. You are you. Fuck all else.