Secret Love Nest

Hotel Visitor

Cockroaches. Nasty things, those.

I saw one in the bathroom of my hotel room. Not too big but it made all the fine hair in my body stood up. I don't care if cockroaches can survive a nuclear disaster...they are ugly looking fuckers.

But I didn't panic. No I did not.

What I did was scream a little, just a little, ran back outside of the bathroom totally naked and pick the fake gun given to me by the production crew for my shoot tomorrow, run back inside the bathroom and gun down that cockroach.

(What? You...are you really telling us that you shoot a cockroach using a fake gun? Really?)

Why yes, my dear readers. Picture that in your mind. How I ran around naked with a fake gun and face my opponent boldly.

(We are picturing it and yeah...it's a mind blowing image indeed)

Yes! It's mind blowing. How can a cockroach enter a hotel room?! How come it passed the bag inspection? What in the world does the security of this place think?

(It's a cockroach, Dayu. You don't call a SWAT team for one little cockroach)

Well, they should. It's a nasty thing.

(Dayu it's a freaking cockroach. And you said it's not a big one...never mind. Continue the story...)

Why do you guys need to sound like Qing? Really...is your Baba teaching you all how to talk back to me? Right?

By the way, speaking of Qing, I called him. While I am having a duel with a cockroach.

(*facepalm* Of course you did)

Me: (my phone on speaker)
Save me.

Qing: Hello to you too. Why? What is happening?

Me: There's a cockroach in the bathroom of my hotel room.

Qing: (evil chuckle) Ooohh, look out Dayu, it might get in bed with you.

Me: (incredulous) Are you for real?! Didn't you heard what I said? There's a freaking cockroach in my hotel room!

Qing: And you are acting like it's the end of the world.

Me: They carry germs!

Qing: So are you. If you think about it.

Me: (speechless for a moment) I hate you!

Qing: Great. I love you too.

Me: Ugh! Why did I call you again?

Qing: Because I am the only person with a sound mind that will not break if they heard you panicking about a darn cockroach. Is it big?

Me: Not that much. It has stripes. Why does it has stripes?

Qing: Maybe it's a tiger cockroach.

Me: (still pointing the fake gun on the cockroach) Are you serious?!

Qing: Will you stop shouting if I said I am?

Me: I hate you! Oh my...it is moving! It's moving Qing!

Qing: (chuckling on the other line again) It's alive then.

Me: Come here and kill it!

Qing: What? Did you seriously just ask me to fly there just to kill a cockroach?