Secret Love Nest

Fast and Furious

We have houseguests. And yes, they are what you think they are. They walk on four legs, with lolling tongues and shed hairs faster than a bullet train.

Kuai and Kuangnu (Fast and Furious) are Qing's twin two year old Golden Retrievers. They have dark golden coat and both weighing at 100 lbs each. (I once told Qing to put them on a diet and he looked at me like I just point a gun at his dogs)

The two dogs will stay with us for two days since Qing's parents are attending a business conference out of the country and they decided to give the mansion's staffs some vacation time away from the big house. Hence, no one will look after the dogs in the mansion.

Mr.Lu, the mansion's poker faced butler dropped (dumped) the two dogs in our front door yesterday afternoon. After giving Qing the leash, the butler left like he's afraid that we would protest and change our minds in taking in the dogs. (I would but I am not given the chance. Mr.Lu was fast when he wants to escape.)

Now...these two are not as bad as Cupcake, Qing's sister's bitchy dog. These two are a lot worse than Cupcake. Because while Cupcake hates me, these two loves me. Too much...

The two dogs treat Qing as their master. They like pleasing him, playing with him, be petted by him. They worship the ground where Qing walked.

Me...I am their chew toy.

They pounce on me, lick any exposed skin they can find and gnaw on the clothes that I am wearing. (PS they love my socks)

Unlike Cupcake, these two don't like lying on top of the bed. They like lying on top of us. Everytime Qing and I will sit on the sofa, they would crawl up and try to lay on our laps. They are just not aware that they are heavy, too heavy for me. They will whine when Qing will push them off to the carpeted floor and told them to behave.

If they ever found me alone on the bed, they will climb and push each other to win the position of laying on top of me. It's like being smothered by fur, too much fur. And their stupid master is of no help at all.

Qing: Kuai! Kuangnu! Get off of Dayu! Now! No one can lay on top of him aside from me! I have that sole right...

The two dogs will climb down and with heads down they will come to Qing's side like angels. I am not buying it. I have seen them at their worst.

I once found them going through the garbage at the mansion, the whole garbage can was turned upside down, trash everywhere. Qing hates that, his dogs going through garbage. He would reprimand them and even smack their muzzles once each to show them how displease he is. Then Qing will wash them and brush their teeth thoroughly until they smell nice again. Once Qing got angry, they follow.

So I tried Qing's approach. I shouted at them, reprimanding them. But instead of cowering and putting their heads down, they look at me like I am a clown, smile at me and then went back to rummaging the garbage can.

They don't respect me...at all.

I ran to Qing of course, to tattle on his dogs. Qing followed me, found the mess his dogs made and got angry. His dogs immediately looked subdued.

Me: (pushing Qing aside) Here let me try! Kuai, Kuangnu! Bad dogs!

They look up, incline their heads on the side, lolled their tongue and grin at me.

They are like their master. Stupid!

Qing: (trying hard not to laugh) Let me handle them Love.

He gently put me on the side and lectured his dogs who looked guilty and apologetic. Wow! I should learn acting from these two.

Now after spending a whole day with them and Qing, I feel so tired like I just finished a triathlon race. It's like having three dozen unruly kids without any rest in sight. I should stop feeding them, maybe starving them would be equal to them losing energy so they would sit still.