Secret Love Nest

A Recipe for Disaster pt2

When you have horny dogs in your hands, life suddenly turned really interesting.

We can't have sex.

It's guiltying that why.

Qing: It's what? Why will we feel guilty for having sex?

Me: (pointing at Kuangnu and Cupcake who are eerily watching us argue about not having sex) Because they can't!

Okay, it's just me that is saying no on sex. But it's because I feel unfair for the dogs. They are in heat too. They want sex too. But they can't...

(If some people here thinks we can pair up Cupcake, a little bichon, to Kuangnu who is a large Golden Retriever. Get your head checked in to a hospital. Because you are crazy. Of course we won't let that pair up happen! Cupcake will kill Kuangnu, she's a vicious bitch. A total dominatrix. And Kuangnu is a submissive dog with low self esteem.)

(Okay seriously, we can't do that. We really can't. The size difference, people. Please...)

Anyways, so we have a dilemma in our hands. We have two horny dogs and one...

Me: Where's Kuai?

Qing: (looking around) Yeah, where is he? I don't see him...Kuai!

Qing stood up from the couch to look for Kuangnu's brother. He went to the kitchen and I heard a groan and a growl and sounds of skirmishes.

I stood up too and ran to the kitchen.

To witness how Kuai destroyed my potted herbs lined up on the tiled counter next to the kitchen window.

My chives, parsley, coriander, spring greens and rosemary plants are now...

Gone.

Kuai saw a chair near the counter, hopped on it and started eating my herb plants.

Qing: (looking guiltily at me while leashing Kuai) Dayu ah...we can replace that...

Me: (pointing at Kuai) You! Bad dog! And you! (Pointing at Qing) No sex!

I stormed out of my kitchen to see Kuangnu sniffing the seat I just vacated and whined at it.

I want to scream. Argh! They are driving me insane.

I knew it! I knew this will happen. Qing plus three dogs in one space is a recipe for disaster. And I am the poor soul who had to share that same space with them.

Why?! Why is my life like this?!

The movie date was wisely cut shorter.

We cleaned up and went back to our closet.

Qing: We have to change to sweats? Why?

Me: (waving the sweat pants in my hand) Because Kuangnu likes raping legs. We have to protect ourselves.

Qing: (looking down at Kuangnu who followed us in the closet and staying near me) I think he is only obssess about your legs. Maybe because it has no hair.

I was floored.

Me: There is nothing wrong with my legs! How dare you impugn it!

Qing: (taken aback at my outburst) Did I said there is something wrong with your legs? Contrary to what you think, I just praised your legs. Now aside from me, Kuangnu likes it too. Because it's...fuckable, I guess? What?