sparks~drarry

Roses and Ruin

Description: Somebody as been charming Harry's things to perform adorable - albeit strange - activities, and now he wants to know who his secret admirer is. (Harry's POV)

Warnings: None

Song; All of Me by John Legend

Length: 2.3k words
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Harry's POV

I watched, utterly fascinated as my ink began to write by itself on my parchment.
The letters it wrote were delicate, beautiful, like that of a king or queen.
You look beautiful today.
The quill dropped back down on the table, spraying ink onto me.
But I didn't care, as my face was growing hot as I continued to stare at the words.
"A secret admirer, ay?" Ron said, glancing at my parchment.
I nodded slowly.
"I suppose so."
"Don't you want to know who they are?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I could ask Hermione for a charm..."
But my mind had already drifted, and now my gaze was slowly moving around the room, resting on each person for a couple seconds before drifting away.
Luna was staring dreamily at the ceiling, Lavender kept on taking what she believed to be discreet glances at Ron, Cho was absentmindedly doodling on her paper, as were most of the other girls.
I glanced at Ginny.
She was leaning against Luna, gesturing wildly as she told a story, her rosy lips twisted into a loving smile.
She truly did love Luna.
I turned away from her and back to Ron, who was blinking expectantly at me.
"So... Who do you think did it?" I asked.
"I dunno. Some bird, I guess."
That sounded wrong, though.
"Do you think..." I hesitated.
"What?"
"Do you think the charmer might've been a bloke?"
Ron didn't answer for a moment.
"Maybe." He confessed, his gaze drifting around the room like mine had done only seconds before. "Probably, actually. I don't see any girls in the room - other than Mione and Pansy - who can charm like that. I mean, Luna probably can, but then again, she's with Ginny."
My lips thinned.
"Yeah."
For some strange reason, despite my outward look of disappointment, I found myself hoping the charmer was a bloke.
After a couple moments, Ron spoke again.
"Hey, Harry?"
"Yeah?"
"You don't hope it's a bloke... Right?"
I didn't respond, and instead grabbed the quill, staring at my parchment.
"Merlin's beard." Ron said softly. "You do hope the charmer's a bloke."
"Yeah, and?" I snapped.
He shrugged, a smile breaking out on his face.
"Good for you, mate. Who do you hope it will be?"
I already hoped it would be a certain someone, but I ignored the question.
"It's probably a bird." I said instead.
Ron looked skeptical, but, thankfully, he kept quiet, and went back to writing.

"Are you going to tell Mione?" Ron asked.
We were in the Gryffindor common room, lounging on the couch in front of the fireplace.
I shot him a look.
"Tell her what?"
At that, he sighed.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about." He murmured.
"No, I don't." I snapped, and, thankfully, he didn't respond.
After a moment of tense silence, I stood.
"I'm going out for a walk." I said stiffly, and walked out of the common room.
My footsteps echoed against the stone floor as I fled, my heart beating erratically and my eyes burning.
Why was I ashamed?
No, that was the wrong word...
Fearful.
That was the word I was looking for.
Of course, Hermione and - well, I supposed Ron no longer thought I did - thought I liked birds, and, admittedly, so did I... So why did I find myself hoping the mysterious charmer was a bloke?
Perhaps I liked both birds and blokes.
Maybe.
Hopefully.
What an awful time to be having an identity crisis... Or, perhaps, it was the best time to have one.
At least this hadn't happened during the Battle of Hogwarts.
As I though of that war, my heart gave an achy pang, forcing me to halt.
I blinked rapidly and thought for a moment.
Back then, I had been with Ginny.
But had I truly been in love with her?
Had I truly been in love with Cho, even?
I thought even harder, my mind drifting back to fourth year.
I had wanted to ask Cho to the Yule Ball - and did, of course... Or, at least, I had thought I wanted to.
I had been so jealous of Cho and Cedric's relationship, and I always thought it was because I wanted Cho... But what if I had wanted Cedric instead?
That made more sense, actually, considering how often my gaze drifted to him rather than to Cho.
But what about Ginny?
I hadn't enjoyed our kisses; or our entire relationship in general.
In truth, I was subconsciously imagining her older brother, Bill, instead of her when we kissed.
So... There's all that.
My breath was coming out in shuddering gasps, and I slid to the floor, right in the middle of the corridor.
I squeezed my eyes shut and put my head in my hands.
However, when I heard footsteps, my eyes snapped open, and I watched with wonder as a paintbrush rolled into the corridor.
What the Hell?
My eyes were glued to it as it hovered above the ground, and, with perfect script, painted onto the wall,
Don't cry. I'm here.
I sniffled and smiled, looking around.
Maybe the charmer's magic was here, but they themselves weren't.
And, so, I let myself cry.