cool and unusual punishment

momentum

An object in motion tends to remain in motion. An object at rest tends to remain at rest.

This is true not only of objects but of motivation as well. When you fall out of practice or habit you tend not to pick things up again until an outside force or pressure is exerted on you to get back into it, whether it be a sudden burst of inspiration or a reminder from an old friend or who knows what else. Regardless, it's safe to say the best way to accomplish large amounts of work is to make it habit and then the work has practically been done for you.

It'd been about a week and I'm afraid to say writer's block has set in like a cloud of smoke. I was on such a roll, too, but Canada has really drained me... outside of that, I had a doctor's appointment today and may or may not have

broken down crying in the office?

I'm really not good at managing stress on 'bad days' and sometimes that mask wears thin. Can't say I haven't tried, of course, and it's funny that people are just noticing there was a problem as it recedes, like pointing to a wave on the way back to the ocean.

We almost had a conversation about it too where she actually asked if there was anything she could do to help

(I mean, she prefaced it with colleges because of course she did and then immediately started guilt tripping me/making it her problem ("Do I stress you out???")  after that but thanks mom, there was almost some progress there) 

I think it bothers her that she doesn't know every single thing about my life. 

She doesn't  know about my compulsive habits or how I've physically aggressed myself for not living up to my own goals, she doesn't know that I socially isolated myself from a lot of my friends, the periods when none of my interests meant anything to me and I had to force myself to care enough to make it through the day, and she definitely doesn't know about the episodes I used to have regularly where I just wanted it to be over...

...nor does she know about my first kiss, the resolve I felt to get better when my NaNoWriMo ended, the new friendships I've made along the way, or the small, insistent joy I get from the lot of you every day. 

That's all mine.

Anyways, to blow some stress off and deal with my current load of ***project stress***, I'm going to take a few days off. Right now the real problem is just "wow this chapter of TSBS... fucken sucks" but as soon as I get done with that I should be back on track with updates. I'll be back soon, and in the meantime, I'm going to comment wherever possible. I just need a few days to recuperate from the end of the season and I'm really, really, really burned out right now.