cool and unusual punishment

So, It's 2018 Now.

I was going to do some art but that fell through. I guess we're back to what I've always done anyways--expressing myself. With words.

I wouldn't necessarily call this a trigger warning but this one gets pretty personal. 

There's a lot to be said about 2017.

2016 was so bad that people sat around and laughed about it all year. People constantly talked about how the Mayan apocalypse had predicted the end of the world four years too early. By the time is was over, things looked grim, but it seemed like we were either at the bottom of a hill looking up or heading downwards at an ever-accelerating pace.

People stopped making jokes in 2017. 2017 just continuously happened while we sat there and watched that ball roll down the hill. Aaaaaaaand down. Aaaaaaaaaaaand--

 I know a lot of people on here are also teens, as I am, and at our age, it kind of always feels like the world is ending. It's not always the stuff at the macro- level either, even if we're exposed to it a lot more than previous generations have. Heck, our lives are stressful. Maybe I'm just melodramatic, but I know anxiety and depression rates are higher among teenagers than ever before, and I also know that both of these things are especially prevalent amongst writers. Sometimes it feels like the world isn't worth living in or you're not worth living in it. Whatever battles you are going through, no matter who you are, know that you are brave today for waking up. Whatever you failed to do is in the past, things worth doing still lie ahead, and happiness will find you. Care for the people around you, too. We owe it to each other as a community to care for each other regardless of who we are or how we identify, and to push each other up when things get tough. 

As for me, personally?

This was definitely a year of firsts. 

It was the year of my first kiss, my first place in a national regatta for crew, the year I passed my first million words, and the first story I wrote with all human protagonists. It was also the first time I self-harmed, easily the first time I've failed academically as hard as I did this year (which I'd like not to extrapolate on),  and my first failure to complete a NaNoWriMo. I could probably go on with every positive and negative of the year, because were there ever positives and negatives, but in the end I can't even tell you if it was a net positive or net negative. It was what it was, and what it currently is is over. 

I am a lot better at managing myself than when I started, both emotionally and temporally, and I've made a lot of friends and improved a lot of friendships. I may not have overcome the mental tics that plagued me for the latter half of 2016, as I had hoped, and the evidence breathes out of a lot of these chapters and writings, but I can handle what before seemed like an insurmountable void and still convince myself it's worth waking up in the morning. This is in no small part due to the colorful cast of my life. Certain developments on here this year have been extraordinary in every since of the word, and if I've had the pleasure of talking to you or conversing over comments, know you've made my year, whether in a fleeting way or a very major one. 

Finally, I really do want to improve this year, as every year, with my writing. I have trouble with my singular goal of "doing writing for myself" because I'm great at "doing writing" and then "for myself" but not these two concurrently. I am going to be working on three projects until May assuming all goes well, one of which I've already put up (CRUX), but I'm not going to talk about my update schedule or make promises this year. I've already done all the planning for myself and it'll play out how it plays out. Of course, support is appreciated. I know people don't usually come here for original fiction and heaven knows my read counts reflect that but I read every comment and heck, even if you're a silent reader, the act of reading the story helps too. It would mean the world to have you follow along, but it's totally up to you, because the goal this year is really just to do it. Can I fit it around academics? Who knows. Will everything work out the way I planned? Very unlikely. Regardless, hopefully life will continue to surprise me.

Preferably in a positive way.

Best of luck to all of you this year, no matter what projects you take on or what adventures you begin. I am here as always to talk about books you've read, books you're writing, any other kind of media, or heck, just to talk. 

-Chrona