Does anyone else ever get the feeling like a younger version of them would be somewhat confused/entirely mortified by how you turned out?
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Eight year old me: what's a swear
Ten year old me: Swearing is AWFUL and BARBARIC and I WOULD NEVER NOT EVEN IN THE MOST DIRE OF CIRCUMSTANCES
me, at present: holy FUCK it's a TINY DOG
my friend: chrona please calm down
me: it's a tiny dog! look at its fucking legs! how does it move??? it's so small what the hell
my friend: chrona you are attracting Bad Attention
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Eight year old me: can I skip soccer today??? I don't even like rec sports I work out anyways why do I have to do sports
Twelve year old me: What do you mean I have to do sports in high school? No one's even going to take me! I suck at sports! Plus I'd have to do it every day. When would I have time to hang out with my friends? None of my friends are doing sports!
me, at present: I WOULD BREAK MY BODY OPEN FOR THEE O HOLY ERG, FAT ERGOS FOR LIFE, I FLY OR I DIE, CATCH ME AT THE RIVER AT 4 AM RIPPIN' THE FAT ONE, SUB 7 BY SENIOR YEAR, I HAVE GIVEN MYSELF OVER TO THE CREW CULT
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Eight year old me: thank goodness I love myself and my incredible, ungodly metabolism will always keep me thin as a twig :))) plus why would I ever care about something as arbitrary as physical appearance :)))
me, at present, standing on the scale: thank goodness I realized I could throw all of my directionless self-hate into panicking about my weight
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six year old me: how do you """"sleep"""" I need
-perfect sheets
-light on in the closet
-at least five books
and btw just so you know set an alarm because i'll be at your door at 6:56 uwu
me, at present: *dozes off immediately* *gets up at 5:30 on weekdays and 8:30 on weekends* consistency is for people who are either good at art or life and goddamnit i will be neither of those things do you hear
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eight year old me: EVERYONE IN THE GRADE MUST KNOW OF ME AND MY PERSONAL DRAMA. LEGITIMATELY MY ELABORATE FIVE-YEAR LARP PROJECT IS A GOOD 50% OF ALL THE INTERESTING THINGS GOING ON IN OUR SCHOOL. I HAVE EVERY SINGLE THING I HAVE DONE SINCE KINDERGARTEN MEMORIZED AND HAVE COMPILED IT INTO AN EPIC BALLAD THAT I CAN RECITE ON COMMAND.
fourteen year old me: CHECK OUT ME AND MY FANGIRL CLIQUE HOES I HAVE LIKE TWENTY FRIENDS IN THIS CIRCLE WE ARE GOING TO BE TOGETHER TO THE GRAVE OWO
me, in tenth grade: *sees familiar person in the hallway* oh uh hey-- uh---
*and they're gone*
*returning to my house*
i have talked to three people all day and i only know two of their names
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thirteen year old me: I can't believe I gained 500 FOLLOWERS this year!!! I'm going to be at 2000 by FALL of next year and i'm going to hit 50K on the SPOOFS man I love the warriors fandom they're so supportive
me, at present: i can't believe i gained 30 followers since june
i can't believe anyone reads my original works either there are literally twelve main characters in this one, a poly relationship in another, and all the others are a bewildering labyrinth of original work from a universe I've been screwing with for ten years
Orcafin: everything would have gone better if you sold out chrona
me, at present: we're not talking about the spoofs ever get back in your box
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my friend: so then she kissed a girl-
twelve year old me: wait you can do that
me, at present, straight as the plotline of most of my books: you can do that
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thirteen year old me: i will play clash until I die and will be known throughout the land as Cat God
me, at present: ???
???
?????????????
why did you ever think this was going to work
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four year old me: this is my MAGICAL DOG and she's a PRINCESS from DREAMLAND
my mom: that's nice honey
eight year old me, to all my friends: yeah so if you want your own dogs you can make them but they've got to be weaker than mine because she's the best and also she has wings and invincibility so for powers think like that but not as cool
all of my friends, collectively: seems fair
twelve year old me: I can't believe I'm doing my first NaNoWriMo! Too bad I have nothing to do with it afterwards... kind of sad that it's just going to rot in my Google Drive.
fourteen year old me: -and her name is Aislyn, sometimes, but sometimes she's Rena. She's kind of like a phoenix?
my friend: rad
fourteen year old me: this is so great I really thought by high school people would be making fun of me
my friend: no it's cool I have the same thing! *shows me notebook*
fourteen year old me, surveying this art with the utmost respect and wonder: teach me
sixteen year old me: ...so then they hang him for his crimes
another friend: how do they hang him if he's a dog wouldn't he slide through the noose
sixteen year old me: *fiercely scribbling down notes*
another another friend: why are they dogs
sixteen year old me: at this point I don't think they can be NOT dogs
another another friend: have you ever considered
sixteen year old me: does anyone have any questions about my NaNoWriMo unrelated to them being dogs
me, at present: *looks up from keyboard* are we ever going to change the name because for the record every time I write 'Dreamland' I die a little bit
Rena: it's been around eleven years and you still haven't come up with anything
me, at present: that long huh
Rena: if i was a real dog i would be at a suitable age for euthanization
me, at present: are you ever going to leave
Rena: are you ever going to leave
me, at present: *resumes typing*
Rena: write faster
YOU ARE READING
cool and unusual punishment
Randomchrona in high definition but low resolution why do i even live
