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Loser: Part 2

Michael could feel his breathing turn from shallow gasps to quick and thin, shaky breathes. He felt his knees buckle and fell to the floor, letting himself fall. He'd never seen Jeremy so upset- ever. And he was upset at Michael...him...oh god. Michael clutched his chest as he felt a sudden anxiety attack coming on. He grabbed the hoodie that was bundled up on the ground and struggled to pull it over his head with his trembling hands. Once on he pulled it over his knees and rocked back and forth. He closed his eyes, trying to remember what he usually did when this happened. He reached for his phone, he usually texted Jeremy. His hand turned into a fist before reaching his phone. He couldn't do that. So he quietly sobbed to himself, feeling the pain of numbness fill his body limb by limb.

***

Michael woke up the next day to no news texts on his phone. He felt like crap. He turned to his phone and tried texting Jeremy.

Michael: Jer?

Michael: Bud, are you alright?

Michael: Jere-Bear?

Michael: Mr.Heere would you come Heere please...?

[No response]

Not even puns were working, Jeremy was legitimately angry with him. Michael felt as if he might get sick. He stood up hesitantly, slipping his phone into his backpack, the 'RIENDS' marked on his backpack taunted him, threading another break-down. However, Michael forced his emotions to stay below the surface and swung his backpack over his shoulders, grabbing his hairbrush and a protein bar and heading towards the front door.

By the time he reached the entrance to his home, also the exit, he'd pretty much devoured his bar and had his hair fairly brushed. It wasn't like he was trying to impress anyone...

As he walked out the door to head towards school he suddenly had a lot more sympathy for Jeremy. He finally started to understand the lingering pain that his boyfriend...prior boyfriend...? Had experience after screwing up Michael's emotions. Though, he felt like somehow this time he'd messed up big time. Bigger than both of Jeremy's screw ups, and everything in between, combined.

Michael squinted his eyes when he recognized the blue backpack that belonged to Jeremy, just a few houses in front of him. He felt his stomach flip and his heart ache, pulling his hood over his head to hide his face incase Jeremy turned around. He watched intently. Of course Jeremy was there. He always was whether he wanted him there are not. How could he have forgotten that they walked together on some occasions? That Jeremy lived just a few blocks away, if that.

Michael watched as a car sped by, chucking some bit of trash at Jeremy while making squawking noises.

Jeremy winces as the litter hit his shoulder, feeling his shoulders tremble with threatening tears.

It killed Michael to not be by Jeremy's side. To not be able protect him. Though he did stop to wait for the car to pass by him, flipping them off, "Assholes!" He growled at them, continuing forward to see that Jeremy had stopped and was shooting a glare back at Michael. He'd just stood up for him! How was that bad? And suddenly Jeremy sped up, turning the corner briskly. Michael let out a grumble of bitterness, "Salty little son of a...perfect..." "UHG!" He cupped his head in his hands, unable to say anything against the love of his life. He walked onward, dragging his feet along with him as he stopped at the corner the turned off towards school, catching a glimpse of Jeremy's backpack disappear through the school entrance. Michael flexed his hand, the space in between his fingers felt emptied than usual. He felt emptier than usual. He sighed, heading into class.

***

By break time Michael was full-blown depressed. He knew he'd have to find a different place to sit, figuring that Jeremy would claim their usual spot as his own. Michael was sure if he tried to sit there with Jeremy anyway that he'd just move, and Michael wouldn't be able to live with that.

He was surprised when he walked into the cafeteria to see Jeremy sitting next to Christine...he was sitting awfully close to her...then suddenly two idiots approached and pushed at Jeremy's shoulders, taunting him with duck quacks. Michael felt that same dagger slowly, but surely, twist through his chest.

Michael headed to the edge of the cafeteria, pulling out his phone.

Michael: Those guys are jerks, don't take notice of them.

Michael: ...I assume I can't sit with you...? :(

Michael: ...Jer please, say something, do something, anything!

Michael felt his hopes rise as Jeremy picked up his phone, scrolling through the texts.

[ERROR] Jeremy Heere has blocked your number.