Sparrow

6

Just live, and let what happens happen.

•••

If I was a sane person, I think I would have limits. I think I'd have more shame, and the ability to preform self-control.

But I don't think I'm a sane person at all, I have never believed that I was. Even if I was sane before, there was no way I'd remain so after everything I'd seen the last few days. Thought I also don't think I'm fully insane, not yet at least. Give it a few more days.

"So let me get this straight." Marco smiled as he stood with his back again the door, while I laid in anguish on the bed. "last night. You did the opposite of what Lorenzo said, got drunk, killed a man, and then blacked out?"

Not only did I blackout but I woke up with no clothes on, again. Déjà vu

Pursing my lips I groaned, "maybe." I uttered as I rolled onto my back. "But I didn't kill that man, fucking Lorenzo did. That's not on me."
I corrected.

"How are you-" Marco snickered in amusement, he too had a sense of curiosity to him.

"Not dead yet?—" I interrupted, knowing that's what he was going to say. "—Not sure."

Marco shook his head, sighing. "You are insane for what you pull around Lorenzo. No one talks to him the way you do, the way you have." He said as he pushed off the door. He stayed across the room though, like he was unable to approach me. Like he wasn't allowed to.

"Well He's an asshole." I sighed. Marco looked at me after I said that, studied me for a few moments.

so I looked at him too. Stared, giving myself the opportunity to fully take him in for the first time. He was attractive, the kind of man you'd see in a magazine. His deep eyes were unnervingly gentle despite the world he lived in, and it made it hard to forget he was here in this room not out of kindness.

He wore a black long sleeve fitted shirt that clung to his muscular arms, and black pocketed tactical jeans. A chain was around his neck, with a charm that look to be engraved with something that I couldn't read.

I found myself fixated on it for a second, until Marco cleared his throat and caught my attention again. "Do you remember anything else?" He said plainly, as he grabbed the loose chain and tucked it inside his shirt, hiding it from my gaze.

Feeling the shift in the air, however subtle I closed my lips and I shook my head. He looked at me like he didn't believe me, but didn't say anything to question me.

I pursed my lips and he narrowed his eyes at me.

I do remember, most of it anyways. But Marco doesn't need to know that.

"Okay," Marco said then, as he turned and walked back to the door.

"Okay?" I repeated, "just okay?"

Marco grabbed the door handle and swung the door open. Looking back at me to say "just okay" He smiled and nodded to me

"fuck you, now I have some questions of my own-"

He slammed the door before I could finish my sentence. Prick

Sighing I fall onto my back on the bed again, staring up at the ceiling and trying to fight the way I find my head wandering to Lorenzo. Lorenzo and his stupid face, his stupid words, and his fucking stupid murderous hands that were on me. Touching me.