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The most Alluring thing a woman can have is confidence - BEYONCÉ

The most Alluring thing a woman can have is confidence - BEYONCÉ

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I couldn't face him. I didn't want to, Not after all of that. Flashes of our moment if you would even call it that, mixed in my mind and it made me want to pull my dress down more.

I felt like I had a dirty secret. I felt like I was doing something forbidden, something impermissible.

I wandered around the long halls for hours after it, along with my thoughts-I was dreading the thought of having to sleep next to Lorenzo. But I knew that there was no way I was sleeping in the hallways.

But to have to lay down in his bed, as the million other women have probably before me, I wanted to hit him, scream at him for all the things he is doing to me. How unfair he was being, but I guess this might be my fault. Fuck you, it only might be my fault. He had a play in it too.

If I never went to his room in the first place, I would have been fine. If he didn't fix my hand and it fell off, I'd be handless but I'd still have my sanity. If I didn't let him stand over me like he knew I wanted him to push me down on his bed and-

I have never shared a bed with someone. I said to myself. least of all a man who makes my skin tingle and my rage burn.

But It was laughable how bipolar he is towards me, one second he acts like he wants me dead as a doornail and the next he is jealous and dominant over me. One second he runs his hand up my waist the next it's like I'm the evil in his life.

I just wished I knew why I was here, what all of this was for. Being left in the dark for so long, not knowing so much about myself—I barely knew who I was. And Lorenzo acted like he knew everything about me, all my secrets.
I keep telling myself that's why I keep going back to him like a trained monkey.

Because he has what I need.

I saw the way people looked at me as I walked along the hallways, I've noticed it since we had gotten here. I mean I see the coldness from me being a 'prisoner' but I could feel a predetermined hatred leaked off them like I was some sort of ticking time bomb set to explode in their faces.

And yet still I was here, wanting answers.

When I got to his room my body lightened at the fact that he wasn't there, it made me smile. I only came back here because I had no other choice, and he knew that. I even went back to my old room and it was barred shut and locked. He liked to watch my freedom get taken away, liked how agitated I got.

The room felt cold though without him in it, without that heat he brought to me. "I bet he fucking showers in ice cubes too." I said to myself as I rubbed my arms, the tiny dress covering nothing but my coochie.

Taking another step in, I closed the door. He left the light off, so I flicked it up to investigate.
To know he wasn't sitting In a chair in the dark made me thankful, because he is the type of person who would totally do that.

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