Nightmares -Saiouma/Oumasai-

-24-

Kokichi's POV
I feel so sick. Sick of all of this. Sick of the looks people give me. Sick of the things they are saying. Sick of the guilt and shame I feel for making Shuichi have to help me through all this... get all the dirty looks... hear all these awful words... I don't want to say anything, I don't want to do this anymore... I should have stayed in my room and let Shuichi come and hang out with his friends... instead of making him have to stay with me... I hate myself so much... for all of this...

"Hey, it going to be ok," Shuichi whispered into my ear causing my limbs shaking to lessen.

"It's alright. shhh. calm down. it's going to be ok. I'm right here. It's ok." He whispered into my ear under the conversations going on throughout the cafeteria. I didn't look up at him or say anything for a moment... because I didn't trust that my voice would be able to stay strong... too afraid it was as fragile as I felt... the smallest touch making it shatter...

"Can you try and eat something before we leave?" He asked quietly making me raise my head grabbing the fork to take a couple of bites of the rice and chicken in front of me. I didn't eat much and I felt sick with every bite I took... I shouldn't be eating... I don't deserve this... but Shuichi is trying so hard for me... so I should try my best to be able to repay him.

"That's great Kokichi. Do you want to leave now?" He asked in his soothing tone before he met my gaze. I gave him a small nod before he stood up and walked the plates into the kitchen where Kirumi was cleaning them. He walked back over to me slowly allowing me to relax a bit. I feel safe when he is around me and all the stares everyone was giving me. My head was screaming at me to run away... screaming at me to hide somewhere until my life decays into nothingness... to run from this to die...

His arms went back around my shoulder and waist helping me get up from my seat. We slowly made our way out of the dining hall and walked silently down the hallway.

"Kokichi?" Shuichi asked breaking the silence making me flinch. He wants me to tell him what's wrong... why does he care so much?

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked looking down at me. I couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze... it was too painful... I knew that he cares and I know that I don't deserve it... I just... don't know what I'm feeling...

"I just don't like it when people look at me like I'm some experiment behind glass," I said finally sighing already feeling the tears coming down my eyes. He moved in front of me and held me in his arms gently making sure not to hurt me. I wrapped my arms around him letting myself cry into his shoulder. He moved his arms up and down my back making my tears lessen and my breathing slow.

"Shuichi," I started still crying and hiccuping from sobbing.

"It's ok Kokichi, you don't have to say anything... why don't we go to my room to help you calm down?" Shuichi said pulling back to wipe the tears off my eyes. Small whimpers escaped my mouth as we returned to the position we were in earlier before walking to his dorm room. He held my hand in his and caressed the skin on the back of my hand.

When we made it to his room he opened the door he helped me into his room and brought me over to his bed. He held me and laid me down on his bed pulling the blankets over me. Days before we both put some changes of clothes in the other room so if we slept together the other had clothes for the next day without having to go back to their own room. He brought me over the pajamas I left over here so he could see the wrapping. He helped me change into them while I tried my hardest to choke down groans. I pulled on my shirt and Shuichi was examining my wrapping which had some bloodstains on it from bleeding through.

"We should change the bandages..." he said looking over at me to make sure I was ok with it. I gave him a shy nod feeling nervous about him having to do this not once but twice now... I hate when others have to help me... I feel like such a burden...

"It might hurt a bit." He said starting to remove the bandages. It hurt feeling the cold air on my venerable skin. I clenched my teeth and tried to not move so much.

He gave me a small frown before walking to the bathroom grabbing more wrapping. He came back out moments later and put some medicine on my wounds. It felt nice because it was cool and soothing on my sensitive skin. I could tell when he was slowly wrapping my legs he was trying to make sure it wasn't too tight so I wasn't uncomfortable. I silently thanked him for this and let my eyes close already feeling exasperated from the events that took place today... I felt relaxed for the first time today here with Shuichi.

He finished wrapping my legs and arms. He left for what I assumed to take the wrapping back before he walked back over to the bed. He wrapped his arms around me and he slid in next to me under the covers. I let my head rest on his chest shaking my head to try and keep my eyes open.

"It's ok you can sleep," Shuichi whispered in my ear moving one of his hands to gently stroke my hair making me sigh.

"A-Alright," I said before letting my eyes slip closed. I felt Shuichi's warm embrace around me. It made me forget all of the things that happened earlier today. I'm so glad that Shuichi is such an angel that he would do all of this for me. I was lost in my thoughts before I heard a voice quietly singing. It was absolutely beautiful. I was in awe hearing this angelic voice. It must be Shuichi singing. I sighed and let my mind be soothed by the calming melody of Shuichi's singing.

Bursting in a blood-red sky
A slow landslide
And the world we leave behind
There's a way to lose your head
And disappear and not return again
When I fall to my feet
Wearin' my heart on my sleeve
All I see just amazes
You are the port of my call
You shot and leavin' me raw ?
Now I know you're amazing
'Cause all I need
Is the love you breathe
Put your lips on me and
I can live underwater,
Underwater, underwater!
Underwater!
Bursting with a bright blue sky
A slow landslide
And the world I've left behind
There's a way to lose your head
And disappear
And not return again
When I fall to my feet
Wearin' my heart on my sleeve
All I see just amazes
You are the port of my call
You shot and leavin' me raw ?
Now I know you're amazing
'Cause all I need
Is the love you breathe
Put your lips on me and
I can live underwater,
Underwater, underwater!
Underwater!
Bursting with a blood-red sky
A slow landslide
And the world I've left behind

I didn't want to fall asleep because I wanted to listen to his voice... but my body was so exhausted that I let sleep take over my consciousness.

I love you Kokichi.

-Here is the next part. I really like the head cannon where Shuichi or Kokichi sings to the other. It makes me smile so much. They are so wholesome! Thanks for reading!-

-ShuichiOuma010-