Nightmares -Saiouma/Oumasai-

-52-

Family...
Did that word mean something once?

. . .

"Every time someone mentions the word family I always feel a pain in my heart." I felt tears prick in my eyes as memories started to cloud my thoughts.

"My family was never there for me...and they were just as bad as the people at school..." Shuichi pulled me into his arms and held onto my back rubbing his hands up and down.

. . .

"We are going camping this weekend as a family," My friends are always going out with their family...but even when I do they all still hate me.

"That's great!" I smiled giving her the best smile I could manage. She seemed so happy about it and there is no way I want to ruin her day because of my own sadness...don't be so selfish.

. . .

"What's taking you so long!" I heard yelling from downstairs. I quickly slid my razor into my front pocket and quickly wiped the blood off of my arms.

"Sorry!" I rushed down the stairs and we left for the car. My parents didn't say anything the whole ride...and my brother and sister were talking about their friends and how much fun they had at school...

I wish that people liked me...then I could go and hang out just like my siblings because then my parents won't think I'm an antisocial loser...

"I can't believe Kokichi never goes outside some of my friends think he is a vampire!" My sister laughed into her phone as she was talking to her friend Brittany I think? It doesn't matter anyway...they all hate me.

"I know right what a fucking loser!" I looked to the front of the car just to get a glare from my sister. My parents didn't even look back...I guess that's true then.

. . .

"You have to smile! This is the last time we are going to be able to take a picture with him stop being so selfish!" My mom was yelling at me again...always getting on my case when I'm just being a damn loser...

It's my fault I'm this way anyway...it's all my fault. My brain is messed up because of me. I was never good enough and that's why they all hate me.

"Are you even listening to me?!" She kept yelling at me about how disappointing I was and how I was a mistake...and all the things I have heard before.

"I am! Sorry I'll smile!" I put on a fake smile and dug my nails into my cuts to force my tears down.

I guess this is my life now.

. . .

"They were always so selfish...only caring about themselves. Yelling at me when they didn't get their way...gossiping about me whenever I told them anything..." I covered my mouth and tried to suppress my sobs. Shuichi held me closer and whispered sweet nothings into my ear.

"Hey it's going to be ok...I'm here now and I'm your family," He kissed my cheeks and kissed my lips making me smile against his lips.

"I love you and it's going to be ok, don't cry now sweetheart," He nuzzled his head into my hair and moved his hands up to my head to play with my hair making me sigh.

He is so calm and gentle to me. The exact opposite of my parents...they only wanted to use me like everyone else...treating me like a maid instead of a family member. They always get mad at me when I can't pretend to be a part of their family...when they don't even treat me like one.

"Why don't we finish eating than spend today in my room. I can read you a book while we cuddle," He pulled back and wiped the last of my tears. I smiled and looked up at him.

"That sounds nice! Thank you Shuichi," I whispered letting myself close my eyes for a moment. Shuichi gently caressed my cheek kissing me every now and then while my breathing slowed down.

"My family wasn't the best either...so I know how that feels...I want you to feel alright ok? So forget about them because they don't deserve you or your happiness. You have a family right here. And you have a family out there so we can't give up," I blushed at his words but soon recovered and I climbed off the counter.

"Thank you, Shu!! But we should get going I'm sure people are suspicious~," Shuichi blushed but he still grabbed my hand and walked out with me.

"What were you guys doing in there?" Kaito asked when we walked back over to the table.

"Not much, just cleaning up the kitchen," I smiled at him making him raise an eyebrow. He looked over at Shuichi who gave him a nod confirming my words with him.

"Alright then! Remember about training tonight! I'll see you guys later!" Kaito had already finished his food by the time we got out of the kitchen. He and Maki waved to us before they left leaving me and Shuichi in the dining hall alone.

"Well, we should eat," Shuichi moved the plate of food that they set aside for me to eat after...my episode. He moved next to me and started to eat his food.

"Alright! Then we can go read together!" I ate the food on my plate being able to ignore my thoughts better because Shuichi is by my side. I still feel fat...because of all the things people have told me about myself...but I know Shuichi loves me no matter what and he wants me to be happy and healthy.

"I'm glad you're excited. It's nice to see you smile more!" Shuichi kissed my cheek gently after he finished. He waited for me to finish as well before he grabbed my hand again.

"We just need to get these all washed before we go ok?" I gave him a nod and went to collect some of the dishes to bring them to the sink. He smiled and started washing them after rolling up his sleeves.

This is the family I want to be a part of. Shuichi is the family I need.

-So, flashbacks suck...and my friend isn't being any better...so there's that. Anyway, thank you all so much for reading!!-

-ShuichiOuma010-