Nightmares -Saiouma/Oumasai-

-27-

T/W there are intense themes of depression, attempted rape, suicide and self-harm. This is a warning ⚠️

Kokichi's POV
I pulled out of Shuichi's embrace and walked over to sit down on his bed. Shuichi gave me a supportive smile and sat down next to me. I took in a shaky breath.

"So.. Shu..." I said not sure of where to start. What should I say? I don't want to make him sad... but I know I should trust him... so I should just tell him the whole story... starting from the beginning...

"Well to start off... from the beginning..." I said letting my voice trail off.

When I was younger I had a hard time not talking. I walk always talking... lots of people always asked me to shut up. This was also a reason why I don't like myself... at all.

"Kokichi!!" My friend yelled as he chased me.

"Yeah?!" I yelled back as I turned the corner.

"Why are you so annoying?" He asked making me slow my pace. I turned around to face him noticing he stopped running.

"Annoying?" I asked feeling nervousness and feelings of guilt and shame on my shoulders.

"Yeah everyone thinks it. I thought maybe you could tell me why?" He said looking to the side.

"Why do you think I'm annoying?" I asked again in unbelief.

"You are always talking loudly... and you never shut up! I don't want to be friends with someone everyone hates!!" He screamed making tears come to my eyes. I'm annoying? I thought I was making people laugh... I didn't mean any harm... I just want to make others happy... but I guess I can't even do something like that right...

"So I'm don't being friends with you Kokichi!" He yelled before turning around and running back over to the playground. I just let myself fall on the grass.

"I don't need anyone..." I whispered.

"They only fool you so they can betray you in the end..." I whispered slowly getting to my feet.

"Who needs friends? I'll just make my own..." I said kicking the dirt before hearing the recess bell ring. I'm done with people...

I walked into the building getting flares and sneers from my fellow classmates. Occasionally hearing them mutter.

Loser
You're alone
Friendless
Bitch
Asshole

I never wanted to be close to you
You are so annoying you make me want to hurt you
Just shut up
Never talk again you would be doing us all a favor
You would be doing yourself a favor
No one likes you
Maybe you should just die

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. This is who I am now. I don't need anyone! I'm great on my own!! I opened my eyes and put on a creepy smile and walked down the hallway to my classroom.

The day went by and slowly my gaze became darker. I don't need this... I don't need anyone...

A few weeks passed and soon the bullying got gradually worse.

"You shouldn't be here!! Why don't you just give up!!" I don't know who these kids even are. They keep screaming at me... I can see why... I don't know why I'm still alive... but I know I'm too weak to die.

They pulled out some paper and a small pair of scissors. My eyes widened slightly but I didn't say anything... I probably deserve all of this.