Nightmares -Saiouma/Oumasai-

-98-

"Well, it's kind of hard to explain...but before I was put into the hospital after getting exposed by my parents...I had a friend named Joelle who was my only close friend before I got accepted into Hope's Peak." I paused before gesturing for him to join me on the bed. He looked at me with worry in his eyes before he moved to sit on the bed next to me. His arm was around my waist as he pulled me closer to him. I felt like crying just because of this small action he showed to me, but I held it in for the time being because I need to get it out of my system before I become a blubbering mess.

"Joelle was always there to hangout with me and some of the members of DICE before it happened." My breath hitched and I felt some tears fall from my eyes. I sighed to myself and wiped them away with my hand before Shuichi grabbed my hand.

"It's ok, I'm right here with you." He said before adding, "I know this is hard, but I know talking about it can help." That gave me a little more confidence in myself even though this whole situation was getting to me. We made it out of the killing game, but what now? How are we all just supposed to move on from that?

"She died on the night I was going to commit Suicide. It was one of my many attempts that ended up being unsuccessful...but she called me as I was on my way to the highway and she knew by my voice that something was wrong-" I was cut off by a sob that escaped my lips. Shuichi's hand moved to the back of my head. He ran his fingers through my hair calming my mind down for a small moment. And in that moment I was able to speak again.

"She rushed after me as I was walking into the road cars were passing by she tried to pull me out of the way...but he ended up taking over...he yelled at her and tried to get out of her grip...he eventually made her start crying because of the things I was saying about myself. Everything was so blurry...all I remember after that was that she got hit by the car" The whole scene played again in my mind. The screams, the blood...the laughter in my head after he took the one thing I cared about most. The one person that I wanted to be there for when she got her first kiss from another girl, when she finally got her license...and when she was able to finish the novel she was working on.

"...it was too dark to see anything...but before the driver came out he took me over again and went to...do things to her body. He just ended up taking some of her blood as well as my own before the man came out of his car and called the police. I had to lie that day..." I whispered the last part feeling my heart stop. It was all my fault because I didn't have control over him...I never have control over anything when it comes to him taking me over. It's like I'm no longer there, like there is no Kokichi Ouma, only malice, pure and true malice.

The tears already started pouring out of my eyes. I can't just move on like this...the guilt was moving from my chest to my head, making it hard for me to think about anything other than the despairful thoughts coming into my mind.

"Kokichi, that's not your fault..." He said gently looking into my eyes. His eyes looked sad like he was remembering something. The pale yellow orbs were glazed with tears like a sink that could overflow any second. I gently moved to plant a kiss on his cheek before he stopped me by kissing my lips. I blushed at this and kissed back.

His lips told me what he was thinking and his eyes were the evidence I needed to put it together. Something must have happened to him that was similar...or maybe even just someone he knew that committed suicide...I felt the guilt come over me again. Why did this have to happen? I wish she was still here living everyday...wishing I was the one it took instead, but I get to be here with Shuichi regardless of all the losses I have suffered that have made my brain weak.

"Hey, Kichi?" He said in a breathy whisper as he spoke against my lips before kissing me again. I felt my eyes slide closed because of how he was making my senses feel love. All of them tingling with the feeling of love he was always able to make me feel.