Nightmares -Saiouma/Oumasai-

-45-

"Hey, MakiRoll!! Have you found anything?!" We both walked back into the pool room and the first thing we heard was Kaito's yells. Shuichi shook his head and held my hand as we walked over to Maki.

"You guys made it back...I need your help..." She moved over to show us Ryoma's body. It was so pale and cold...god I hate when people die... "Yeah, of course, Maki," Shuichi's tone changed and he walked over to the body dropping my hand. I felt a little lonely when he did but pushed the feeling down.

"So it's pretty obvious he was drowned...but I think it wasn't recently...he feels too cold for it be to be recent..." Shuichi said putting his fingers on his neck trying to find a pulse. I walked over to them and stood next to him. I want to help but I'm pretty sure I will just get in the way...

Shuichi gave my hand a small squeeze before he and Maki went to collect evidence. I stayed with them but the whole time they were doing their own thing while I just kinda stood there.

We went to check his lab because maybe there was some evidence of his motive video or something? I couldn't shake the jealous feeling. Was Maki better than me? No, he loves me right? I tried to challenge my thoughts...but my doubt ruined my hope...

"I think he was killed in here seeing as there are signs of a struggle," Maki said making me frown. I didn't want to have to stay here when I feel like this...Shuichi shouldn't have to see me like this. I poked his arm and gave him a smile. "Anything wrong Kichi?" He looked really concerned about me...but I can't get in the way...this investigation affects all of our lives.

"I'm alright, I was just going to tell you I was going to go and investigate the pool room again," I lied but I hoped that this time he didn't notice. "Alright, you would let me know if something was wrong?" I cut him off. "Of course ShuShu! But you need to investigate! Don't let everyone down!" I said before I skipped out of the room.

He said something to me before I left but I didn't care to stay and listen. I wasn't going to the pool room...I just want some time alone. I shouldn't be feeling jealous of Shuichi's relationships. He has a lot of friends and I only have him...I just get in the way anyway...being my annoying useless self...

I sighed and walked to my room. I shouldn't have believed such an obvious lie...the room was dark and I didn't even bother turning on the light...I didn't want to have to see myself. I feel so unwanted...I hate feeling like this, but seeing as I'm me...it happens a lot.

"Why do I feel this way?" I groaned pulling my blanket off my bed as I shrunk into the corner of my room. I pulled the blanket over my head and covered my eyes with the soft fabric. "Why do I love you so much? That whenever you talk to anyone else I wonder if you love me back? Because I'm never going to be-" Sobs erupted through my throat as my eyes were overflowing with tears.

"I can't!" I screamed pulling on my hair. I don't want to have to do this anymore! We have to go to the trial soon and all I'm doing in here is crying. I'm no help at all...why does Shuichi even put up with me...

I know the time is running out for the investigation...but god I feel so sick...I want this feeling to go away...I want to hurt myself!! I don't want to feel this anymore!! I want to feel physical pain! "AHH!" I screamed into my hands feeling more tears burning trails down my cheeks.

"Kokichi?" Shuichi whispered. Walking over to me. I didn't even hear him come into the room until I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Shuichi..." I whispered to him voice already hoarse and hard to understand.

"Maki and the others are finishing up the investigation...we already got all the key information...so they let me leave to get you." His voice was so soft and gentle that it made my tears calm down. "What happened? Do you want to talk about it?" He sounded so calm and he felt so warm...it was nice.

"I was feeling...um..." I couldn't bring by myself to tell him. The words were stuck in my throat making it so hard to breathe. "I could tell earlier...you must have been feeling jealous...because the last three days we have been together all the time and today I had to investigate for the trial." I could tell he was still nervous about saying the word trial and I can't blame him.

"But I wanted to tell you that I love you Kokichi. Although they are all important friends, Kokichi is the most important person to me." My heart melted and more tears came out of my eyes. I pulled the blanket farther over my face not wanting him to see me cry more.

He grabbed my hand while I was grabbing the blanket. He moved my hand to his heart and pulled the blanket off of my face with his other hand. He placed his lips on mine and smiled against my lips. I felt my heart burst at his actions. Why did he come back for me? Shouldn't he be investigating?

"Koki I can tell you have been being a bit off ever since yesterday...and I'm sorry for not showing you that I cared...I do and I was scared that I was just overthinking. I'm sorry," He placed gentle kisses all over my face.

"It's really ok," He put his finger over my lips before kissing me again. "But I want to make it up to you...so after the trial...we can do something you want to do together." I smiled at him and put my hand on his cheek. "I would love that."

-Today's update!! Trial next chapter...this is getting out of hand oof...anyway. Thank you all so much for reading!!-

-ShuichiOuma010-