The LoveShot

May I-?

That morning when she woke up, she felt a sense of calmness along with the jitters. Today was the day that they would be going to the intimacy class for another session. It puzzled her as to why the very thought of this made her feel so nervous.

Why am I so jittery? It's just Brian.. She thought to herself as she took a sip of her tea before leaving the house. The keys tightened within her hand with every thought that came to mind, she took a deep breath before turning the keys, taking another sip of her tea and driving away.

Upon arrival, she noticed that she was the first one there and took a moment to meditate with her thoughts. "Today will be a good day and we will not run away like last time." She chanted. Nodding to herself, squeezed her eyes shut, sighing before opening them. Just then, she heard a knock on her window. Looking over, she saw that it was Brian.

"Hey Sue, are you coming in? We've been in here for about twenty minutes."
"Oh." She quickly got out of her car and bustled for the front door. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting. I lost track of time."

"It's quite alright. Mindfulness is key." The instructor smiled back. "Are you both ready for today's exercise?" They both nodded. "Wonderful. Because today, we are going to be going a bit further with the tactile comfort zones and trusting eye contact. Today, we will learn to act on our trust, but only with permission of the other."

"So.. consent?"

"Exactly right." Nodded the instructor.  "When you are ready, please face each other and close your eyes.. Take a deep breath in, and when you have cleared your mind, slowly let the air out of your system. We will be repeating this a few times so that you both become comfortable living within your own space while being fully aware of the other. So again, breathe in... and breathe out."

She could feel the clash of tension and relaxation fight within her all at once. She couldn't quite keep her mind calm. Suddenly, she felt a hand go on her shoulder. "Please try to relax your mind completely, love. Your mind must be completely void of any thought." Nodding, she breathed out, finding it a lot easier to relax. Though it was still obvious that she was a bit on edge. "Now please, both of you, open your eyes."

She let her eyes wander about his face before making contact with his eyes. Studying his features in the silence of the moment, his eyes soon found hers and they locked. "Now that you have found your new universe, I want you both to think of something that you want to do with the other and then to vocalize it as a question of permission. And it does not matter who goes first."

A moment had passed as they stood in silence, but soon, she could read him. His face was signaling a question and she accepted. "May I hug you?"
"Mmhhmm." She nodded with a blush.

"Please give a clear 'yes' or 'no' answer."

"Yes." She nodded. His hands slowly reached out to her and soon wrapped themselves about her.

"When you are ready, one of you must tell the other when you want to pull away. Though, say it as 'I would like to do this' or etcetera."

For a while, they stayed like this, just holding each other, but then she began to think. "I-I would like to pull away, please." Pulling away, he allowed his hands to run down her arms and to her hands where he made eye contact again.

"May I keep holding your hands like this?"
"Yes." She felt his thumbs run sweetly over her hands as he held them. She knew that he was trying to calm her, but she had trouble keeping her mind still. Soon, her lip began to twitch, as she was itching to ask him a question but had been too afraid to.

"Do not be a afraid of what you are about to say. If you can accept it, so can they. There is no right or wrong answer or question here. This is your free space to think."

"M-May I-.. I would like to touch your hair."
"You may." He lovingly nodded and bent down a bit for her to reach. He heard her sigh. It was a deep and long breath. Though he watched as she began to mess with his hair and regain her smile from messing up his hair. "May I feel yours?" He smiled.
"Yes." She giggled as he snaked his hand into her hair and began to admire it with his hands. Then suddenly, he roughed up her hair as she had done his which caused her to yell a warning at him and for him to laugh, then comb it back to normal with his fingers. She watched his determined face as he fixed it back. She could see how caring he seemed and the moment they locked eyes again, they both stood silently before simultaneously saying, "May I-?"

Catching each other off guard, they both read each other's desire and nodded to one another before moving their hands to admire the other's face. It was within that moment that she could almost hear him. The way his eyes were gazing at her were almost singing to her saying, 'You are beautiful..' She could even hear herself saying the same thing to him. 'You are beautiful, both inside and out..' And it was again, at this moment, when she felt the most comfortable with herself and Brian that her mind began to work again. It condemned her thoughts about the man in front of her and caused her to have shame. Blushing profusely, she froze, fighting her thoughts.

"May I hold your hand up here?" He asked, but she hadn't heard him. "Sue?" His quizzical eyes wandering about searching for a clue as to how to solve what he ultimately knew was coming. "Are you okay?" He asked, removing her hand from his face before she could do it for him.

"M-May I hug you?" She stuttered.