The LoveShot

Letting Go

"Why do you always make me have to force things out of you like that when we argue? Why can't you just be honest with me?" He softly said, without the expectation of an answer.

"I'm sorry. But can you just understand why I'm feeling this way? Or maybe even why I'm doing this?" She softly replied. He glanced down at her before returning his gaze straight ahead into nothingness.

"What's truly terrible is that you think you're preserving our friendship, but what you're really doing is restricting it." She blinked, taking in his words. They made a new kind of sense to her now that the cards were on the table and she finally got to see what cards he was holding the entire time. Before she could reply, he nodded, saying, "I'll play your game. In fact, I'll keep playing it until the day I die. I love you Suzy, but I don't think you know what love is. After all, people are only afraid of the unknown." After those words, he stood up, giving her the medicine he brought her and pushed the food toward her.

"Where are you going?"

"You should eat before you take those. I don't wanna have to come back because you're throwing up all over yourself." Biting his lip with one last look at her, he nodded as to bid farewell and began walking. He felt her heart crying out to him, even though she said not a single word, causing him to quickly turn around with a smile. "And hey," he began, "don't you be crying anymore. We have work to do. We'll figure this one out just like we always do, right?"

She could see that his smile wasn't as bright as it usually was - if at all. But it wasn't nearly as dark and cold as when he had turned his back away from her and walked out the door.

She couldn't help but to hate herself. He told her not to cry, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't help her feelings. She couldn't help the fact that her defense mechanism worked in a way that self sabotaged her or that she wished that her feelings had an off switch instead of wishing to confront her fears.

And although the outcome she saw of being with him seemed bitter, she couldn't help but feel guilty about the fact that this scenario seemed to be the most bitter of all worst case scenarios she could have ever imagined.

Trying to shake away her thoughts, she just repeated the words that were once his, "It's alright. We'll make it through this.. Somehow.."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, Brian sat on the porch with a cloud looming over his head. Staring into nothingness, he tried to pull together the pieces that were once his heart. He kept asking himself why he had decided to fall for her all those years ago and why he couldn't have just chosen to love someone else.

He felt that his love for her shouldn't change, but his actions should. And maybe then they would be able to be together without all of the clashing. Perhaps then everything would be fine.

Not fine.. He thought, shaking his head.