The LoveShot

As It Stands

"Clear for rolling?" The cameraman checked with the crew before holding up his hand. "Okay, everyone. Great job. We're ready for a commercial break." Suzy sighed to herself as she pushed her curly bang behind her ear before catching the eyes of Brian in the mirror that was in front of her.

He just stood there for a moment staring at her with a blank expression before disappearing down the hall. Chills ran down her body as she closed her eyes and let out a big sigh. She hadn't realized, until that moment, of how tense she was.

Is he really making me that nervous? No.. She shook her head. That can't be it. I just haven't had an adequate breakfast, is all. Biting her lip, she took a sip of her water before going off to the restroom.

After doing her thing, she couldn't help but pause when she was washing her hands and caught sight of herself in the mirror. She stared at herself for a moment as she thought back to the last time she saw Brian. Her eyes shut ever so gently as she remembered how good it felt to be that intimate with him. The feeling of being completely conscious while kissing his lips and it not being an act, the feeling of his hands digging into her skin as he held her up against the wall - even the coolness of the wall was a sensational memory for her.

Soon, she found her hands holding onto her arms as if to protect herself as she came back down from the high she'd often replay for many nights after their encounter. She had been wanting to tell him the truth, but she still couldn't find the right words to say. It was the one true moment that she could say she had a frog in her throat whenever he was near because she ached for him that bad.

Sighing out of pent-up frustration, she allowed her hands to move upwards to grab hold of her shoulders before finally opening her eyes just as a butterfly slowly moves its' wings when basking in the sun.

"Dammit." She sighed again as she broke her protective stance and immediately began to adjust her undergarments to hide the mess she just made. Biting her lip, she tuned into how hard and fast her heart was beating as she heard Brian's echoed words in her head:

"You're running. Back then, when we were kids, you ran and even now, you're still running."

"I've never done anything for you to misplace your trust in me. Why can't you even trust me with the smallest thing? Am I not your best friend?"

"...obviously a 24 year friendship means nothing to you."

And although she understood what he meant then, it still didn't hurt nearly as much as it did now.

I'm probably too late.. He probably truly is with.. wait..

Her eyes immediately darted down to her purse which still had the magazine in it. She felt herself smile internally as she thought to herself, There's your excuse..

Grabbing the magazine from her bag, she couldn't help but to lightly smile as she began walking toward his makeup station, but was told that he was in the breakroom. Nodding in thanks, she set sail to the man she had fallen for. She couldn't help but bite her bottom lip as she approached the room. Just as she reached the door, she closed her eyes, taking in one last deep breath before opening them and placing her hand on the handle - but she never went in.

She stood there for what seemed like ages as she saw the two of them interact with one another. Her heart became hollow as she witnessed how Haze caressed his cheek. She took note of how he sat there on the table with her hand still in his as she stood between his legs.

She couldn't help but to envy the black haired girl right then. And although her heart was already hollow, what was left of it only seemed to shatter upon seeing the pair share a kiss on the cheek. It was then that she felt the well conditioned room turn hot and foggy for her face. She quickly let go of the door handle and the magazine at the same time as she hid her quivering lips behind her shaky hand. She slowly backed away from this nightmare before quickly retreating to the restroom once more and locked herself inside.

Her tears wouldn't stop spilling and she couldn't breathe because she was forcing herself to hold all the sounds of her pain in. It seemed to suffocate her, so she allowed just a few to be let out in order to breathe. Pretty soon, she heard the producer knock on the door telling her that she only had ten minutes left.

"Dammit." She whispered as she looked at the blurred mess that stared back at her in the mirror. "The makeup team is gonna kill me.." She mumbled as she tried to clean up as best as she could before rushing off to the makeup team.

"Good God! What happened to you?"

"I'm so sorry. My allergies began to mess with me and my eyes started watering really bad because of all the dust. Could you try to fix it? I know we don't have a lot of time."

"Sit. We got you." Suzy's fake smile was actually partially genuine because at least she would be saved from looking like a melted queen on television.

As she sat there, she felt the presence of Brian staring at her which caused her to open her eyes. His stare was the same as it had been when the break first started, but seeing his face made her feel, not only numb, but more agony than before.