The LoveShot

Scene XXII: Thorns

"I'm sorry." The words seemed to be just barely audible, but he heard them.

"What are you sorry for?" She didn't respond and he began to get stern with her. "Li-"

"I just want you to know that if.." She took in a deep breath before continuing. "..if it ever came down to it and you had to choose, that I always want you to choose your dream over me."

"What?" He was bewildered by her words.

"No matter what, if you feel like I'm holding you back from your dreams or you can't handle both at once-,"

"Li, stop." He demanded

"I'd rather you choose something that will stay with you and make you happy forever than choose to stay with something that is not guaranteed to last and risk losing both the things you want."

"Stop that! I don't ever want to hear you say that again." He unknowingly shook her as he said those words. He hated seeing her cry, but he hated hearing her say those words even more. It left a horrible taste in his mouth. "What-? Why the hell are you saying all this shit all of a sudden?" He looked at her for a moment before having an epiphany. "Wow." He chuckled. "Are you planning on leaving me?"

"I never said that."

"Then you're having doubts about us, then. Is that it?"

"Lower your voice, Lee. I'm right here."

"Then tell me why the hell you think that saying shit like that is okay if you're not having doubts or not planning to leave?" He spat.

"I just think that things have been going badly for you between you and the band since I've been involved and I think that-"

"You think that what? That I would be better off if you just up and left me? Baby, do you not understand that this shit was bound to happen anyway? Whether or not you would've came with me that night, whether or not I would have met you, Jun would have still left! So I don't ever want to hear you say that disgusting bullshit again. Alright?" His eyes were bloodshot and his appearance was scary to her even though he wasn't showing any possibilities of wanting to harm her. It just felt as though she was walking on eggshells in the middle of a landmine. She allowed him to sit in the silence for a while before replying.

"I never said that I would leave you. I never expressed that I wanted to, nor did I ever even think about leaving you. Not since we left Taiwan. I just want what's best for you, but I'm sorry that I can't express what I want to you correctly. All I want from you is a little less sex and a little more time to just be with you and talk things out about your day. That's all that I could ever want from you." She sighed, looking down at the bedsheets and turning over onto her side. "I.. I think I'll just go to sleep now. Hopefully, I'll see you in the morning.." He pulled her back to face him.

"Baby.." he sighed. "Now baby, come on. We were just talking. We were just doing what you wanted. And I get it. I'm sorry for misinterpreting your words, but tell me this: how is it fair that you get to just shut down and not talk about things when you don't want to, but you expect me to always be an open book?" He let those words sink into her skull before calling it quits that night. "I'll just leave it there for tonight because we've already had a lot we've discussed already and we both really need to get to sleep, so.. just sleep on that, okay?" She didn't respond. Not even when he leaned over to kiss her goodnight - she was thinking. When he turned off the light and rolled over, she had never felt so cold and alone.

What if.. He's right? Maybe I am being irrational. And possibly even a bit selfish. What if I'm the one who's pushing his feelings aside for my own? Maybe I should just let him use my body.. It really seems to be the only thing that calms him down. Despite her reassuring thoughts, she couldn't help but to cry as she unconsciously mourned the emptiness she felt from within her from feeling used.

She was able to ignore the thorn in her side when she felt Lee's arm wrap around her waist and kiss her back as he whispered to her sweet nothings to help her go to sleep.